when I ignore her all togeather i get the most responce (usually she calls alot and will even ask to see me) but I think after we make contact again it caused her to push away more. (I call this just being mean)
If I stay just a little removed (I dont contact her and take time writing her texts back) I get her texting and contacting me more regularly but not much more than that.
So... im kind of stuck thinking what is best way.
what do converse to her about when she insists on contacting you more often? and what are you saying when she pulls away? you are not bringing up relationship talk and telling her you miss her and we can work this out, are you?
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it is often written that the LBS needs to become friends with the WAS befor any R can take place. So how do you become that friend? do i just keep doing what im doing or do i take another approch?
why do you want to be friends with someone who has backstabbed you? why would you want to only be friends with your spouse? it seems to me if your goal is to be friends you are missing out on the whole point of being married to someone. you can be friends with anyone (have you tried that yet?) are you not wanting to reform your emotional connection with this woman?
it looks like your relationship is a one way street. you provide her with emotional support when she is needing it; you are wanting emotional support and connection with her and are not receiving it. you are doing all the giving and lost as to why she wont give to you. and continue to give hoping she will change her way.
have you taught maybe you deserve more? that maybe she needs to be the one asking how do i become his friend; how do i save my marriage?
what if you stopped he emotional support? what if you dropped the friendship? what if you were no longer available, and got on with your life? what you you made her do most of the work, because there is alot of work to be done to restore a marriage that this far $ucks.
