Thanks for checking in everyone! Last few days have been 'abnormal'.
The day after the last conversation with H (regarding his lying, cheating etc...) H started acting nice. No, I'm not fooled. H has been this way since Thursday.
Thursday night I took S and his friend to the movies. H asked to go along. Went to eat after. H acting like old self. H said several times something to the effect of 'he's trying'. Friday, H popped something in his neck and as the day goes on, it gets progressively worse to the point H can't move head. I get home from work and take him to clinic. Doc prescribes meds. Since then, H is basically zonked out. H thanked me last night for taking care of him.
Right now, I'm just trying to go with the flow. I'm trying to put OW in the back of my mind but it's hard. We haven't had any R talks nor has H said he wants to work on M. In a way it almost feels like H wants to go back to the way it was...which I won't do.
I'm still taking it one day at a time. Although H has been better the past few days, I am expecting the bottom to drop out at anytime. With that said, I think I am stronger than before and will be able to handle it better.
S asked me last night why H is being so nice to me. S said it's ticking him off!
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
Remember, don't make your happiness or mood depend on him. YOU are solely responsible for how you feel. Easier said than done, but it is what you work towards.
S asked me last night why H is being so nice to me. S said it's ticking him off!
Dontcha just love kids!
Originally Posted By: givingitmyall
Remember, don't make your happiness or mood depend on him. YOU are solely responsible for how you feel. Easier said than done, but it is what you work towards.
Everyone can tell me I should not have but what's done is done... I found something on the computer today. H sent the b!tch an e-mail (on 7/11) with activities in Philly in Sept. H wrote: "Oh yeah....forgot to mention too......I charge for my tour guide services! You'll need to pay me in some way!!! " with a stupid smiley face after.
Yes, perhaps I deserve a lecture... I know I'm causing more pain for myself. What is interesting about this is it confirmed a suspicion I had. A few months ago H said something about going somewhere for a week in Sept for work. At the time I knew something sounded fishy.
Honestly I don't know what I'll do if Sept comes around and H goes to meet the bi!ch. One thing for sure, I won't be sitting at home...
H and I got into again this afternoon. H says he's still 'so confused', 'just doesn't know', 'needs to pull his head out of his a$$' etc... H tells me if roles were reversed, he would have left me 2 months ago. Later H asks to have sex and once again, I explain the reasons it's not gonna happen. Then H tells me sex will "help him feel closer to me." H also tried the "You're pushing me further away but not having sex with me."
I know I want my M back together but at times I feel as if H is nearing the limit of how much I can take. I am trying to be patient. I don't need to tell you guys but it's just so hard to watch the one you love piss on everything that means anything.
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
Yes, perhaps I deserve a lecture... I know I'm causing more pain for myself. What is interesting about this is it confirmed a suspicion I had.
No lecture from me. Causing more pain for yourself or arming yourself with facts and dispelling suspicion? Only you can say.
Originally Posted By: Ashlee
H and I got into again this afternoon. H says he's still 'so confused', 'just doesn't know', 'needs to pull his head out of his a$$' etc... H tells me if roles were reversed, he would have left me 2 months ago.
Poor, poor baby.
Originally Posted By: Ashlee
Later H asks to have sex and once again, I explain the reasons it's not gonna happen. Then H tells me sex will "help him feel closer to me." H also tried the "You're pushing me further away but not having sex with me."
It's all your fault, Ash. Has he always been this unattractively childish when it comes to sex? You don't have to answer, just wondering/pointing it out.
Originally Posted By: Ashlee
I don't need to tell you guys but it's just so hard to watch the one you love piss on everything that means anything.
You sure don't, but get it out, anyway. Amen, Sister Ashlee.
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
H and I got into again this afternoon. H says he's still 'so confused', 'just doesn't know', 'needs to pull his head out of his a$$' etc...
A: "I agree; I think maybe you're right."
Quote:
Later H asks to have sex and once again, I explain the reasons it's not gonna happen. Then H tells me sex will "help him feel closer to me." H also tried the "You're pushing me further away but not having sex with me."
A: (shaking your head, pathetically, as in disbelief) "God, you're such a baby. That's SO unattractive."
Ashlee, as you know, I'm as pro-"snooping" as they come, but not when you already know that he's cheating on you. Why are you torturing yourself?
