I just got the bomb in May and I'm ready to give up already...My husband is having an affair with the 31 year old VP of his company and I'm so humiliated and embarrassed and shocked. The man I married was amazing and for almost 20 years we were happy (I thought). This man is selfish, self-centered, and rude. I want my husband and our marriage back and I don't think that's happening anytime soon.
Here's my dilemna...the VP is divorcing her husband. What I worry about is that she and my husband will begin moving the company finances around so I can't get my fair share if I do decide to divorce him. Right now, that's the reason I want to hurry up and file for divorce. I need to know I have financial security and can stay in my house! Anyone else in this situation?
I would love to "stand" for awhile, but he lies and deceives and continues the affair. Help!
M48 H/MLC 42 M 20 years No kids Bomb 5/09 Moved out 7/09
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
G, You need to protect your financial interests. Go talk to a lawyer and see what you can do to ensure this. Remove his name from any of your accounts and set up a separate bank account, if you haven't already done this. If you have access to some of the financial documents of the company as it is right now, start making copies and put them in a safe place.
G, you can still stand and protect yourself. If he's in mlc, he will spend like there is no tomorrow on stuff that is foolish and will only satisfy his craving for fun and entitlement. He will not think about you or how you will need to scrape by. Protect yourself. This is now a business deal.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
We have a joint savings and checking account, and he hasn't touched it yet. How do I get his name off of it? I have my own checking and savings account. His name is also on our mortgage, other household bills, etc. I didn't remove his name from those, but those bills come to my house and I pay them, so I think I'm okay with that.
I am having a private investigator look into the financial documents of the company as of today...so SHE can't manipulate and move stuff around. That's why I want to go file for divorce as soon as possible. Is that dumb? Snodderly, what do you mean this is a business deal?
He lies, deceives, and from what you all have posted he is in full-blown replay stage. His childhood was about as bad as it could possibly get. He says he is 'out of the fog' and things are becoming clearer and he's now questioning our relationship. He's telling me all of the things I did wrong in the 20 years of our marriage. It's SO hard to sit and listen to and I just want to "fix" things NOW!
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
yeah, I heard all that from my WAW and she took half the money when she left. she is so broke now it's not even funny. the bank account we had to close they cant just take one name off (at least thats what i was told) she even asked if i would keep it open for her to use which was almost laughable concidering how she had already went through so much money and showed she cant keep a positive balance in her own accounts.
She run around going on trips buying her new jobless friends stuff and acting like a 16 year old kid with there parents credit card and no thought about tomarrow
If I could do it again I would have slowely took cash out and stashed it. in the divorce you HAVE to disclose ALL your accounts whats in them and anything else. just so you know!
Glam I have read many of your posts and you are amazing and I will look to you for guidance! I don't want to leave this marriage without truly trying because I want to know that I did everything possible to save it, and I want to be better if/when I have another relationship. I'm almost 48 and, since I'm not getting any younger, I question waiting almost 3 years (as you have done)....Please give me some insights on that. In fact, I'll take any insights!! thanks...
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
Here's another thing. Since the OW is the VP, I don't think my husband is ever going to be able to get rid of her. If he tries to "ditch" her she's going to go after MORE of the company. Not to sound greedy, but I helped build this company and I want what's mine. I need to be financially secure and that's where my head is now.
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
My H offered to sign a 'quick claim deed' for the house so it would be mine and he offered not to touch my retirements (I am a teacher). I asked if he wanted a legal separation or a divorce and he said no. What is going on?
Me 55 H 49 Married 21 years No kids bomb 5/09 filed 7/09 divorced and moving forward 5/10
which was almost laughable concidering how she had already went through so much money and showed she cant keep a positive balance in her own accounts.