as heartbreaking as the news was last week I think it was what I needed to finally move on. It will be hard and I'm sure there will be other down times BUT I actually feel more sadness for H than ever. He will be 62 when this new baby is 18. He was running away from committment and wanted his freedom but he clearly got lumbered with something far different. When I am that age I hope to be enjoying my grandchildren. He will have to juggle both (assuming that is that our children choose to give him access to thiers).
S16 has stayed here the last two nights. On Friday I was out and asked him if would at least pop in and make sure D14 was ok. I then rang him back and told him that providing he was sensible I didnt mind if he brought some friends round with him and said they could have a beer each. I know he is underage still but this is what his father has been allowing so I have to try and accpt that I perhaps need to treat him a similar manner. Not long after I left he TMd me asking if he could stay at my house for the night. OF course I jumped at the chance if only b/c it meant D14 would have company all evening.
Last night D14 and I wnet for a meal at the restaurnat where S16 works. It was a pleasant experience. Later I got a TM from him asking if he could stay again but that he would be in very late. I told him he could a long as he was considerate when he came in. I didn't sleep too good as I think I was listening out for him (parents curse) and wasn't best pleased when at 5am he still wasn't home. I tMd him saying that not coming home at all wasn't being considerate. He replied saying he was on his way back but it still took him another hour to arrive. He did ask if I had been sat up a ll night waiting for him and I replied no but nevertheless very tired b/c of it. We will see if I get an apology when he finally surfaces.
MIL fell over and broke her arm and shoulder on Friday. Apparently it wasn't a big fall but she has osteoporosis so she breaks bones easily. It was S16 who told me and even now H has not rang either of the girls to tell them himself. I sent him a TM yesterady morning asking how she was but he did not reply. I just ordered some flowers for her which will be delivered tomorrow. It's all I can do in the circumstances.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
