Hello Kittyfish & Sandi2!

[BigJohn]

Sandi,

Thanks for the kind words. Yes, I do think that I'm starting to get to where I need to be in order to weather the storm. Not that I have ever been one to lack self confidence or optimism, but detachment is such a different feeling- I've never experienced something like this before.

Anyways, a little update on my sitch. My W left today for a week long church camp for women so it's just me and the kids. My W participates every year so it's tradition and the kids and I get along great while my W is gone. It's always a pretty spiritual week for the women up at camp, so it will be interesting to see what effect it has on my W if any upon her return... but I'm not holding my breath. One good thing is that there is no telephone service or cell phone reception where the camp is located, so no contact with OM unless my W drives into town for supplies, which is a possibility. Once she returns from camp, she is home one week before leaving for her out of state trip to see her family (and OM).

I don't think I mentioned this before, but our 17 year anniversary date falls within the middle of her vacation and I'm not sure exactly how I should handle that. I've thought of giving her a happy anniversary card before she leaves- I don't expect one from her- but I'm wondering if that might be provocative. It has also been suggested to me that I do give her a card and enclose a heartfelt letter with it but I'm thinking that may too much.

One thing that a couple of people have suggested to me is to make one, possibly two statements to my W shortly before she leaves for her trip in August. No further discussion- just one or two statements. The first statement to my W would be to tell her that I don't know for certain whether I would be able to reconcile with her if she has sex with OM. The second suggested statement- made in conjunction with the first- would be to tell my W that if she either contracts an STD and/or becomes pregnant by OM, it will definitely end our M. (Both of these statements are true BTW.) Sandi, what do you think about this idea? I'm considering it because although my W very likely knows my feelings already, I want to make sure that she understands my position without a doubt. I do NOT want my W misinterpreting my detachment as me completely "giving up" on our M... and I have a suspicion that this is how she may be reading me right now. On the other hand, I don't want such a statement/s to come across as either a "dare" to my W or given her screwball condition, confirmation to her of how best to go about getting me to file for D- instead of her. What do you think?