A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

So H and kidlet didn't get home til 10:30 ish. After the party, they went shopping and to a bookstore. Kidlet had lots of good loot, including new shoes, a boogie board, a swim shirt and several books. I was a little worried that I'd have to work hard not to be snarky because I was hurt about being excluded. But when I saw the, I was instantly so happy that it wasn't an issue at all.

Kidlet was cold and wanted hot chocolate and H seemed to *want* to talk, share stories of their afternoon, show me what he'd bought for the kidlet etc. At one point, he came around the bar and stood close enough to brush against me so he could show me pictures on his iPhone. Our hands touched when he put the device into my hands then showed me which button to push to see a short video clip from the party.

Then H declared it was bedtime, so he asked kidlet what book he wanted. Kidlet picked one of the new books and suggested that instead of reading in his bed (one or the other of us reads to him every night), that we sit on the couch so all three of us could be together. H and I readily agreed, sitting with kidlet cuddled in the middle. Kidlet pulled a blanket over us and remarked how good it felt for all three of us to be sitting close like that. (I did NOT coach him - I swear! ... but there may be a surprise hot fudge sundae in his future, you know - just because)

When it was decided that H should do the reading, kidlet suggested that Dad sit in the middle so that he and I could hear equally but H declined and said we were fine like we were.

As a former WAS, I don't think I would have talked so readily or put myself in a sitch for the accidental touches, so that stuff seems promising. But he didn't want to sit next to me onthe couch, so bleh.

H also noticed that I had done the dishes and thanked me.

Baby steps.

Appreciate the small stuff.

Patience.

(and I really do value the small stuff, I'm just struggling with wanting more, or at least a clear indicator of where we stand. I'm also reaping karma tho, so I guess I hafta take my lumps.)