I am not sure how you thought your response to H's negative comments was a problem in the R? Do you think it is normal for a spouse to complain about the other's weight? I doubt we are talking about you being grossly obese.
Anyway, I went off on a tangent... the question is - what behavior did you think was a problem? Was it constant? or occassional or one time? What would you change about that behavior?
BTW it sounds like you do interesting work and very helpful work that you can feel good about. How does H feel about what you do? Does he ask about it? Is he proud of what you do? Do you feel proud around him? or important to him? Are these things you could change? or things he needs to think about?
Just some ideas to consider in setting goals. I get the feeling that you don't know how to feel in his presence and probably he doesn't know how to make you feel good.
If he is uncertain about reconciling, then why is he calling you? I think he wants to work on it but feels lost or lack the ability to understand what needs to be done. What do you think?
