Thank you all so much for responding Hopeful,Silverfox and Braveheart.
I did follow those ladies you mention for quite a while, and while it seems they have been here a while, I believe Yellowrose and Brandnewday's husbands were actually gone less than 3 years. I'm still searching for Butterflymom. I was following some, that were so close to return, or actual return, then H left again. That's actually why I stopped coming here. I do pop in now and then.
Hopeful, I haven't looked at the stages in a while. I tried to plot it once, and each stage seemed to take years longer than posted. He was doing the typical replay activities a few years before he left. Pretty sure he knows I'd still take him back in a heartbeat. I actually think he can read the heartbreak in my face, and that kept him from seeing me. But the no contact on instant message has gotten stronger too, which leads me to think it's more than guilt now. My 180 has actually been to not ask him to come home, like I usually do, ...usually, is like once a year when I've seen him, but, every time I see him, as far as he's concerned. I will go back and read some of the posts on the stages. I do recall one is something like a lot less contact.
BTW, your bottom line, about same bed/no physical touch, I know it too well. We had 2-3 pillows each, in a king bed. He put the largest king size pillow between us, and would sleep with is arm around it instead of me. Kind of like a short body pillow! My heart goes out to you.
