A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

I have struggled HARD today. Up. Down. Up. Down. UpDown.

Got a haircut and wonder of wonders - it's a good cut. Was nice to get fussed over/pampered by the stylist, too.

Good things - H gave me positive affirmation today, showed interest in me and my doings and took effort to bring me a CD of some music I said I liked.

I was easy-breezy about them leaving to go to the party w/o me - "Have a good time!" But it hurt and it hurt kinda hard. After they left I crumpled and wanted to have a good cry. And just to add to the whole roller-coaster feeling, I've also been experiencing strong desire for him today, too.

So I went out to look at another apt. 2 beds, 2 ba plus loft. Two small patios, washer/dryer in the unit. Ample closet space, fireplace and enough room in the living/dining area that one doesn't feel cramped. 2 car garage. 1500 sq. ft. Downsides are freeway noise you can hear even with the windows closed, the appliances are late 70s vintage (do they even make Tappan anymore?) and the rent is more than I'd like to spend at $1950/month.

It's main competitor is a much smaller place that also has 2 beds/2 ba. That one has coin laundry, a *tiny* living/dining area, a tiny balcony and a spiral staircase that will be absolute murder for trying to get beds and dressers upstairs. It's maybe 850 sq.ft. and there's no garage just a parking structure with one floor covered and one floor uncovered parking. No assigned spots either. This second one back to open space with hiking trails tho, and there's no freeway noise. Might be walkable to the beach, and I saw people walking dogs, kids on bikes, etc. That one is asking $1700.

After I toured the condo, I felt a lot better so I came home and made chili. H said the event included a BBQ so they likely wouldn't be home for dinner. I will have supper myself and really power down on some job hunting. I need to get ready with a list of employment agencies to visit Monday. H telecommutes on Monday so I need to be out and 'busy'.

It's a viable option but I can't move on it w/o having the job nailed down.