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Hey SP.

I know it is tough being the one to have to deal with all that is left behind on top of feeling "left behind."

Just relating because I have the daunting task too.

I cried a lot today. Sometimes it is what it is. Try to do it incrementally.

I'm just sorry it is so painful.

Do something nice for yourself today too.



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Originally Posted By: SmileysPerson
Subject: Triggers...

Where the f*ck did that family go?



My screensaver is all of my digital photos from the last ten years; I'll be sitting in my office talking to someone and I'll catch a photo like the one you described out of the corner of my eye... and I'll be lost into the past, with no idea of what it was I might have been discussing with the person on the other side of the desk...


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"I love you too, Daddy -- just not as much."

I know. She doesn't really comprehend what she's saying.

Where's that .45? I know I had it around here the other day....

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Originally Posted By: SmileysPerson
"I love you too, Daddy -- just not as much."

I know. She doesn't really comprehend what she's saying.

Where's that .45? I know I had it around here the other day....


You can't shoot her for saying that... crazy


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And, yes, I do know what you really meant... and I know you know that... just don't want others to start pouncing...

Gallows humor... as I know just how you feel...

Last edited by AlexEN; 07/25/09 11:44 PM.

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Originally Posted By: SmileysPerson
There we are, smiling into the camera, the four of us. A lie.



You go too far. Not a lie, SP. Different today? Yes, and I wish you weren't hurting. But it was true and goodness when those smiles were time stamped...not a lie.


Me45 H46
T25 M22
S21 & 19
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Separated and filed 8/08
Moved home 11/08



Happily ever after is one day at a time.
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Originally Posted By: Greek
Originally Posted By: SmileysPerson
There we are, smiling into the camera, the four of us. A lie.



You go too far. Not a lie, SP. Different today? Yes, and I wish you weren't hurting. But it was true and goodness when those smiles were time stamped...not a lie.


True, but it's also true that looking at those old photos through a different lens changes everything. It's amazing when one looks at old photos how what knowing now what one didn't know then changes their meaning... but, to your point, they weren't lies at the time... and, the thing about photos is they can be imbued with different meanings by different people, and, through the passage of time different meanings by the same people, too...

Last edited by AlexEN; 07/26/09 12:33 AM.

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Originally Posted By: AlexEN
And, yes, I do know what you really meant... and I know you know that... just don't want others to start pouncing...

Gallows humor... as I know just how you feel...


Yes, it can be scary where the mind goes...check in here. Stay connected. Get help when needed. I am speaking to myself here too. I have often wanted a way out of this...wouldn't do it, but have thought about it. frown



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Originally Posted By: AlexEN
Originally Posted By: Greek
Originally Posted By: SmileysPerson
There we are, smiling into the camera, the four of us. A lie.



You go too far. Not a lie, SP. Different today? Yes, and I wish you weren't hurting. But it was true and goodness when those smiles were time stamped...not a lie.


True, but it's also true that looking at those old photos through a different lens changes everything. It's amazing when one looks at old photos how what knowing now what one didn't know then changes their meaning... but, to your point, they weren't lies at the time... and, the thing about photos is they can be imbued with different meanings by different people, and, through the passage of time different meanings by the same people, too...


Lie, truth...there is no answer. It just hurts. We have a lot to deal with on our ends and the pain of something so precious slipping away begs for some relief by comprehension. Of course, it is whatever you decide it is or was. And as AlexN says that will change over time and wont make it any more accurate. If I look back in twenty years and say "ha, I never really loved H, he wasn't right for me," won't make it true.



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Originally Posted By: aliveandkicking
Originally Posted By: AlexEN
And, yes, I do know what you really meant... and I know you know that... just don't want others to start pouncing...

Gallows humor... as I know just how you feel...


Yes, it can be scary where the mind goes...check in here. Stay connected. Get help when needed. I am speaking to myself here too. I have often wanted a way out of this...wouldn't do it, but have thought about it. frown


And you really can't shoot the kids either... The WAS or OM/OW? Well, that's a topic for another day...

In all seriousness, wanting a way out of it is one thing, but there are a million and one ways out of it that don't entail that type of thinking... After all, living well is the best revenge... that is, assuming redemption/retribution/revenge even matter...


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