Instead of wishing your wife would fill out a slip saying what the core problem is, consider writing down what you need in a positive relationship.
I'm going to do this. Had planned on it a while back.
Planned on it because in my best-case-scenario my wife would come full-circle back to us eventually. And I would be ready to say that I don't want to go back, don't even want to make it better. No, what I believe is that after all the pain and with all we've learned and all we've grown, I truly believe it could be not better, but wonderfully different. And then share what we want from ourselve, our R and M and each other. And together build, contract, the wonderfully different. (hey, I did say best-case scenario, remember!)
And I wonder if I've avoided taking a good, hard look at what I want in a relationship. avoided it because after months of MC, DB, reflection, acknowledging and trying to change my shortcomings and contributing factors, I haven't looked at hers. I may have to face my never-met and no-longer-met needs. And the reality that they may well be never-to-be-met needs.
If that makes any sense.
And, no, I don't think I'm indulging my penchant for over-thinking, here. Have to make that list and think....
Gardener
"My soul, be satisfied with flowers, With fruit, with weeds even; but gather them In the one garden you may call your own." Cyrano deBergerac
