Sandi2, Coach, Puppy and Gucci help!

[The Wifey]

I agreed to let the W stay at our home with the kids in hopes that she would get closer with them and soften to the idea of being around here. Last night she stayed till 1am when she left for work. She hung out with D 6, chatted with the older kids. She did not prepare anything for dinner for the older two and just gave D 6 a bowl of cerial. No big deal here?

No. Very. Big. Deal. Giving D6 a bowl of cereal? Older kids could handle it.

My problem is that I feel like the W is disrespecting me when she goes on line at our home. Example D 14 deleted some mp3 and photos, she asked me if I could recover them today. I down load a program and get the photos for her, along with some photos of men from e harmony last night when the W was on that computer.

I feel like confronting her, but know it will turn ugly.

Change the security on the computer and she does not have internet access. Do not confront her, but tell her you recovered the pictures she wanted recovered and you found the e-harmony stuff. No matter what is going to happen in the future, I will not be disrespected in my own home.

Let her rant and rave - silence and calmly repeat yourself if necessary. (No judge would order you to give her internet access for her to look for other men.)

This just keeps pushing me to the point to end this drama and all her BS. I feel like filing just so I can gain some hard core boundries and reset my compass.

Only you can decide when you are done.

The W 50/50 threats to me are just that a threat. She does not want to discuss a visitation schedule which works for each of us, and just wants to keep coming over here and doing as she pleases.

Its funny that she can threaten. Does she really think abandoning the home, you and the children gives her a legal leg to stand on?

Explain one more time, calmly, very calmly, about your need for structure. If she will not respect your boundaries then it may be time to change the locks. She only need ask for anything that belongs to her.

I'm having a DIFFICULT TIME FOCUSING on all aspects of my life. Which is not healthy for myself or the kids.

I just got off the phone W wife and the D is on. Wants to set up mediation.

Oh she does, does she? Is she going to pay for it or is she expecting you to pay for it? She can't play nice so she thinks getting a playground monitor will set things her way?

It might be worth mediation so she can be told that legally, things are not going to be fast, cheap or easy.

Oh, one more thing, mediation will not necessarily save you money. Mediators work between you, but then you also each need your own lawyers. No one lawyer can represent both of you. If money is an issue for her - this isn't her easy out.