Waiting More Than a Dozen Years

[Bagheera]

So, your argument that SHE broke the marriage vows are based upon some sense of fairness (that there is something wrong that needs to be fixed) and that there is a non-negotiable expectation/right to sex within the marriage.

There is a single word description for males when this "right" is put into action. Are you sure that is what you wish to advocate?

I was not advocating *rape* in the least, and I think that you know that. So leave off with the word-twisting.

Instead, I was advocating that you stand up for yourself within your own marriage, and begin setting boundaries on what YOU consider essential for your staying *in* this marriage. So far, your wife has set ALL of the terms and conditions, and left you with no options beyond either (a) tolerating the situation as is, or (b) quietly leaving.

Again I'll ask you: what do YOU get out of the current arrangement? It isn't just about the lack of sexual intimacy, it's about ALL of the things that you have given up that you expected from the marriage or that you used to draw personal enjoyment from. It's about the fact that you can't communicate ANY dissatisfaction with the current arrangement -- you are simply left to swallow whatever she hands to you.

-- B.