Don't answer! You are too emotional right now, it can wait. Go get busy for yourself.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
I think I am going crazy. We just got out of our MC session an hour ago and where my wife and MC are talking D.
I just got an email from her asking if I want to see a movie with her on Friday night and/or take our boys out to dinner.
How do I respond?
I wouldn't respond right now at all, as the others have suggested.
Moving forward, however, it will be good to continue to do some things as a family. TRY TO BE THE ONE TO INITIATE THEM, however, whenever possible -- just a casual "I planned on taking the kids to see the new Ice Age movie Saturday -- you're welcome to join us, if you like." Don't act pissy or pouty if she decides not to go, and don't respond to anything if she button-pushes, other than maybe a "sorry you feel that way."
IF she asks. Just tell her you are thinking about it. I have a lot on my mind. Things I need to decide and that is not a priority at this minute.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Update: Wife talked to me this morning prior to meeting with her A and asked me about a Separation. I replied that I would consider anything other than D.
Met with attorney and sent me this email:
Subject: Collaborative Divorce
"I would like for us to talk about this. It seems to be the least expensive and there are financial advisors, psychologist, better for the kids, etc. I strongly encourage you to just take a look at it."
Planning to tell her that I am not interested in a divorce but when I have some time I will do some reading on it.
Any thoughts on the best way to handle this?
Me 38 / W 37 M 14 yrs S 11/S8 First Bomb: 3/6/2009 EA Second Bomb: 6/4/2009 PA Same House Separate Rooms
OK. So I have so far ignored my W's suggestion that we follow the collaborative divorce path.
Friday night we go to see a movie. It's packed and there are not two seats together. She throws a little tantrum and leaves (we came in separate cars). I stayed and watched the movie.
this morning:
Earlier this week I promised my 8 yr old S that I would take him to the aquarium this weekend and invited W along. She said yes, but we had a neighbor on our street die suddenly this week and she has committed to shuffling people to and from the airport.
She tells S that she will have to reschedule taking him to the aquarium to a day next week when I am out of town. I told her that I made the plans with our S and asked her to come along. I didn't think it was OK for her to change them.
Another tantrum...she's hates me, she's sure she wants a d, she's filing...yada yada.
Tells me how she "has" to work and the only job she can get is in retail, because she gave up her life, career, education for me.
Now she can't afford a d and will have to start over
She's tells me how exhausted she is working 40hrs a week, being a mom, taking care of the house.
Hold up. I work mostly from home. Watch the kids while she works, even though she doesn't "have" to because I want to support her getting back in the workplace.
Do my part around the house -- laundry, cooking, cleaning, etc and pay a housekeeper to come in for a deep cleaning twice a month.
Holy cow, what's she think it's going to be like if she divorces me and I'm not around? I'm not perfect, but I am trying to be the best husband I can. When will she ever stop the blame game and see that I'm a good guy?
Me 38 / W 37 M 14 yrs S 11/S8 First Bomb: 3/6/2009 EA Second Bomb: 6/4/2009 PA Same House Separate Rooms
