New Post for Wifey

[The Wifey]

I just had an interesting text exchange with H. I told him briefly about the letter and asked what his input was. He told me to consider the hours, benefits, if it would use my talents, and if I would be happy doing it.

I responded that it certainly sounds like a wonderful opportunity, but that I would only take it if it did not interfere with my family. H responded that this is a different time and I should consider it just for myself.

I replied that it is my choice and decision that it not interfere with my family. I'd made those kind of choices in the past and I never would again. My family comes first.

H replied that the bottom line was that it was good money and I should grab it before someone else does. I told him he was so funny. He really just didn't want to exchange any more. : )

Yeah, I know he wasn't funny. But in an interesting funny way he is. Money is not and never has been the biggest motivator to either of us.

It was a big 180 for me to not only come to this realization (I was such an idiot in the past), but to not only say, but follow through on this. He does not know what to do with it.

One of his biggest hurts, and he tries to push that people are just different and can't change. I changed, but not for him. For me, and for my family. H is a part of that, but not all.

I am resolute and I understand so much more than I did in the past. Cognitive dissonance, served up with whipped cream and a cherry anyone?

I think maybe I need to get some icecream.

[The Wifey]

I went yesterday afternoon for my first ever manicure. I might say, French manicure. It was really nice to pamper myself.

I had been planning to go eat at my mother's, but on the way home from the manicure I had a call from my H asking if I wanted to go to the fair. Since the dinner at Mom's was not a special occasion I said I would.

We had a good time. Neither one of us really like crowds, but we do like the fair food, looking at the animals and exhibits.

Getting into the fair was funny. We've had so much rain that the field they parked everyone in was a mud pit. They were using tractors to try and scrape off most of the mud. Still, we were slipping on the way in and it was actually something my h enjoyed. I had to laugh at the grin on his face as he was mud boggin'.

We had some eats, and sat there talking quietly. We like to people watch, and its always been a funny family sport to spot the mullets. : ) And the crowd did not disappoint.

We enjoyed the animals the most, I think. There is a tiny wild animal zoo that comes every year that we love. Both of their kangaroos even had joeys. One was born that very day, so of course it wasn't visible and they were both in a secluded area for their comfort. They have lemurs, monkeys, alligators, tortoises and a few big cats.

Of course there were horses, cows, and pigs. For some reason the sheep weren't there. I don't understand why - maybe there is a disease around that they are trying to control. We always enjoy the chickens and roosters, the bunnies come in so many different shapes and sizes, and there were tiny baby goats.

We didn't stay that late because we were both tired. H had a long week and I'd only had about 4 hours sleep the night before. He came in for a bit when we went back home.

He carried a shelf downstairs for me so I wouldn't mess up my nails. When he came upstairs I gave him something I've been working on.

I have had a gratefulness journal for some time, but it occurred to me a couple weeks ago that I should work on a list of things I am grateful to my husband for. It is a list of qualities, actions, memories, everything and anything I am grateful to him for.

When I gave him the list I expected he would take it home. He surprised me by sitting down to read it. I had reached 240 things (so far - I am continuing the list) and he read them all. I didn't expect anything and just wanted him to know how he touched my life.

Somewhere in that list he grew quieter and more serious. I was not sure how to read him. He could have been getting weirded out or mad for all I knew at that point, but then he started to cry. Slow, silent tears rolled down his face.

I didn't say anything until he finished and got up to grab a tissue. His eyes were red as he hugged me and said thank you. I told him I didn't write the list to make him cry and that it made me so happy to write it. I just didn't want him to have any doubt that I do appreciate him and am so grateful to have him in my life. I added that I would not be who I am were it not for him.

I walked him out to his car because he'd asked to read all the letters I found and read the other night. They were letters we exchanged during his basic training and tech school before and after we married. I'd put the envelope in my car when he'd asked because I didn't know when we'd see each other again at that point.

He gave me another hug and kissed me before he got in his car. I told him I'd thought if the weather was good I was thinking about going to the drive-in the next day. He said you won't go by yourself, will you? (He always worries about my safety.) I said no silly, I mentioned it in case you want to go.

After a pause he said he didn't know if he would have plans with the guys because they'd talked about the possibility of getting together, but he would let me know. I got a little smile and then I said good night.

I understand how it feels to just give to someone you love with no expectations in return. I gave him love, appreciation, and my friendly company tonight. No pushing, no pain, no tears (by me at least.) I went to sleep with peace in my heart and thankful prayers to our wonderful Lord Jesus.

[Coach]

KJo, That list would have melted me. I believe you touched the man's heart. That was a true gift and real love you showed him. Gotta go get a tissue for me now.
Cheers

[mac-ct]

Wifey - you really are a queen of hearts. And a wonderful inspiration to us all.

Mac

[Tomato]

KJo, That list would have melted me. I believe you touched the man's heart. That was a true gift and real love you showed him. Gotta go get a tissue for me now.
Cheers

hey coach, if you only used half that tissue then I could probably use the other half. Us guys are half emotional.

save the planet or somethin' like that ..haha

T

[The Wifey]

Tomato, Mac & Coach,

Thanks guys. Honestly I didn't expect anything at all. And I have plenty of tissues.

Saturday I had day 2 of the yard sale that wasn't as hot as day 1. Probably going to have another in August with my in-laws.

I stopped off to say hi to the in-laws Saturday afternoon. H was supposed to have a guy's night. I guess it had been changed so I said hi on my way out. He'd been laying on a lawn chair in the yard. I was inside for quite a while before I left. No real conversation, just a quick hi and then I went to see my parents.

I'd already texted him earlier the weather looked bad for that night and I wouldn't be going to the drive-in. He asked me if I was on my way to see my parents and I said yes. He said maybe we could do a matinee the next day. I said maybe, gotta' go.

Church was so uplifting today. I can't get over how the sermon is always just what I need to hear. After church I took myself out to breakfast for an omelet. I brought the book I'm reading now on Life Strategies. Pretty relaxing breakfast.

I didn't feel so hot after that, so I went home to rest. Had a text from H on the way home that it was a great day to ride (the motorcycle) and could we go to a movie another day? I just replied, "go ride." I turned on the fan and laid down - and I was out. I think the newest script I'm on affected me. I do all right if I take half a dose, but a full dose is a doozy.

Woke up around 3 to the phone ringing. H wanted me to meet for a late lunch. Thankfully I was feeling a little bit better so I said I would. I wasn't starving after having gone out to breakfast so I just had a big bowl of chicken noodle soup.

H was the chatty one today. I just listened and smiled a lot.
Once in a while I'd ask a question about his ride to get him talking and then listen some more. At one point he commented I wasn't very talkative and I said I was just enjoying listening to him.

After we finished I said I had to get going. H suggested Dunkin Donuts coffee first. I agreed initially. When we went out I suggested he go home as the clouds were threatening rain. I didn't want him to get caught in the rain.

Left and went to visit my friend that was in the hospital. Turns out she was going to be discharged. Rather than call for a ride I said I could just give her a ride home. Dropped her off and then headed toward my parent's house.

On my way there I called my in-laws to make sure H made it home before it rained. They said they didn't know. They'd just gotten home and he was taking off in the car.

Funny, didn't he call and ask where I was then? I told him where I was and that I was on the way to my parents. So he said lets get that Dunkin Donuts now. So we met up and had coolatas.

Said goodbye one more time.

I ran to the grocery store close to DD because I had a craving for a Gelato. (Italian ice cream that is only sold in one chain in our area.) I was sitting in the parking lot eating it when H came out of the store. I hadn't even noticed his car. He picked on me about the treat I was having. Wanted to know how I would eat it and drive and I just said very carefully.

Said goodbye a third time.

Visited with my MIL on the way and had coffee with her, then Finally made it to my parent's.

H texted me while at my parents to stop by on my way home. (What the?) His parents are just down the road from mine. Stopped by on the way home and he just wanted to let me know he'd run into someone we went to school with. Told me they talked in the parking lot of the grocery store for a long time after I'd left.

I got a nice hug and kiss before I left. I am not getting too excited here, guys, but honestly, he could have told me about this on the phone.

Overall a nice day and a nice series of interactions. Totally went with the flow. Interesting. That's all I'll say. Interesting.

[K4D]

Thats great Wifey. I think you have reason to be excited. Just don't show it to him yet. You played it all very cool. I'm impressed.

It sounds like he is finally coming back to his senses. That is wonderful.

Kevin

[The Wifey]

K4D,

Kevin, don't you get excited for me just yet. It was a glimmer of emotion, just a glimmer. I am playing it cool, because if I get over-excited I will just get myself disappointed. This is a very, very long road we are on and I know it.

[mindfull]

Wifey...

It sounds like H is enjoying the interactions w/you, and craving more! I agree about not getting over-excited, but at least he's thinking of you!!!

Smile!

[v1olin]

That is great to hear! Thank you for all your help on my sitch.