I am honored that you have visited (be it only by stealth) my humble abode. I'm also honored that you have seen the leaps and bounds from the crud I was spouting a mere two months ago to where I stand Tall & Proud now. Just have slight speed-wobbles every now and again.
A touch of pessimism now and again is fine. It makes for a fine contrast if taken in the right frame of mind. I'm in such a groove now that it really wouldn't hurt me (much).
Support from friends here and in the real world is what keeps me trucking on. That and my undying love and faith in my W - irrespective of how hard she sometimes tries to hurt me. Just means I'm still in her thoughts.
I feel that walking the threads here are so very important for everyone. Anything I can do even if it's just injecting some levity (at the right time and the right dose) I'll do. And on the trip I keep finding "stuff" that makes so much sense from the "old timers"
Re: friends. At the moment my energy is focused fully on myself (unless I'm here). I've also found that I'm able to listen really really well. My memory has improved drastically from the early days. Everyone has seen the difference. Everyone is reporting things back to me (I've never asked - it's always been volunteered) that I had no idea about. Everyone is astounded that it's taking my W so long to extract her head out of her a$$. Everyone is still confident that this will end beautifully. I can only surmise that the reverse is true. I pray it is.
W strictly a one man woman. I promise. We had a "break" a few years back. She actually went out with a M and then came running back so fast. She was furious that she'd been dumped and the M was slagging her name off to anyone who would listen. That hurt her to the core! (good!). What I can't promise is that "friend" isn't trying. She did it with our Maid Of Honor a long while back. I'd love to see what the W would do to her if she tried that on. She's be out of there so quickly.
Ahhhh - the idea of being free strikes such a chord with me. W has had a miserable couple of years. Failing company. Car repossessed. Father was a pain - always moaning (he finally shipped off to Johannesburg after a three month stay in our home). Me (being equally affected by this lot). What did I do? Fall into the same pit with the rest of them. So I can see that the option of disappearing into the sunset would be an attractive one to my W. Especially with "friend" being such a fun loving role model.
This finance thing is still bugging the life out of me. I know that "someone" is after her because of the phone calls.
I also was told that the decision to leave was my W's irrespective of the cause. I was also told that she must live with the consequences of her actions. So - no cash. Then both of them were tapped out. And the requests/demands started. And the odd sob story. What could I do but give her what she was asking for. Now W has fobbed the dirty work off onto someone else - the courts. This really does suck.
I honestly don't mind supporting her but I'll be damned if I'm going to watch the money make it's way to our "friend".
I honestly think W is confused to heck about the money thing (and everything else). She's torn between asking for what she barely needs to survive (2000) to an amount nearly double after a weekend back with "friend". After the help I gave her she's toned the request back to somewhere doable.
I agree fully with your comment...
Quote:
it is my personal belief that a LBH should not enable his WAW to life apart from him if she has chosen to leave him.
Hard that it is to do. I don't want to see my W sad, lonely, skint. It actually hurts Sandi.
And
Quote:
I feel that as long as you are willing to hand out the cash to her, she will continue to live apart from you.
So I'm pulling my horns back in. I'll have to handle this court thing on the 16th or 17th next month. I honestly want to talk to my W about finances. She just doesn't turn up. I've no idea what the next text message will say just after pay day. It'll be to late to stop the summons anyway UNLESS my wife calls before the court date and stops it.
I pray this won't happen. I pray that Karen will talk a good dose of GF sense into her and I'll wait for her to call and report back later. I wish she'd tow W with her back to our home.
I still won't believe any negative feedback. Thats just going to show me that the W is still hurting.
Sunshine internal lamp now warming up for trip to one of the locals to watch the Rugby. I'd watch it at home but I cut back the Satellite account to save money - now I can't get the main sports channels - bummer ;(
So what? It gets me out of the house. Bugger it - I'm going to her local and if she's there or "friend" so what. Now that IS a 180
Hugs kisses and prayers all round.
WAKE UP SLEEPY HEADS!
I'll give you all the scores later - the Rugby and the feedback.
