Sorry things are a bit difficult at the moment, Al. I agree with T's advice on walking away and the other comments about not maybe 'maybe you could/should have....' statements to BF. I think he'll come to those realisations in his own time and your suggesting things to him just gives him the opportunity to not look into himself for answers....
I would definitely not worry about swine flu for now- the strain isn't that virulent and the media is definitely blowing things out of proportion. A pandemic is just an infection that is present across the world- the term doesn't mean a disease is very dangerous although the media seems to have interpreted it, and is presenting it as such. The common cold could be called a pandemic, as could AIDS, gonorrhea, tuberculosis and lots of other illnesses (because they are commonly accepted to be present though they are usually referred to as endemic). This is bringing out my inner science geek so I'll stop there, but there's really no reason to worry....
