A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

ok, so...

H came home and we made dinner together, very interactively. In fact, when he pulled in to the driveway, I was out on the deck looking at the ocean. He walked up behind me with the plate of hamburger patties I'd made to thank me for preparing them for him. Startled me so hard I jumped. I get a gold star for not doing or saying the obvious when he asked me if I could please grab the buns. *grin*

I particularly noticed that he sought me out where I was in the house, and physically came to me to thank me for something. Good sign.

I was particularly bubbly and he remarked, "That means you're happy." I agreed. He did not compliment me on my appearance, hug me, or touch me in anything but an accidental manner. Our fingertips touched when I offered him a strawberry out of the fruit salad I was making. Things still don't seem quite as warm as last trip (I got several hugs last trip), but I think they're warmer than yesterday. If there had been a hug, a kiss or an "I love you" sprinkled into our evening, I don't think anyone would have known there was anything wrong between us.

There aren't enough bar stools for everyone to eat at the bar, so he invited me to sit on the couch with him, which I did. I mirrored his body positions while we ate and talked. After we finished dinner, he said he was going to go work on his game and I told him to have fun. He said some other little thing about it and I started to ask a question, but stopped myself. He sat back down and asked me to go on. This resulted in about 45 mins of sitting and talking. It felt really great. It was.... *drumroll* QUALITY TIME!!

Eventually, he brought the convo to an end (that really should have been me, huh?) and went to his computer to work on his project. There was praise and appreciation expressed from both of us to the other for different things we'd done that day. Oh - and he proactively asked about my day, including questions drawing me out!

So, how do I feel about him going to his computer? Well, dagnabit, I want MORE of him. But I have to say, the 1.5 hrs or so including dinner was really great. If there had been a bit of physical affection or ILY sprinkled in, it would have been everything I've ever wanted from him (at least until kidlet goes to bed!).

I did knee-jerk about it a bit, just cuz he's ignored me for the computer a LOT in our M, but I'm working hard to put it all in the context of where we are NOW, not where were were in the bad times. And for where we are now, we had a pretty amazing evening.

In fact, it's taking a fair amount of self-control not to pin him to the wall and administer one of those 'scorched earth, take no prisoners' kisses Kettricken mentioned a bit ago.

Alas, I shall have to go outside, lay in the hammock and count shooting stars instead. It's COLD out there you see, and taking a shower now would be a tad out of character for me, plus it would ruin my hair.