Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Thinker]

Shitty Emotional evening,

Question for the group here...How do I deal with OM (the original one who fled) when I meet him somewhere socially?

He and his wife are part of a larger group of friends, and although we were never best buds, It's a pretty small town.

I took the boys to meet some friends at the pool earlier this evening, and there was OM1 (the one who fled), hanging out with the group. My heart stopped - Oh Sh_t! - Not because of fear, but because of real how-to-act discomfort. I have no idea how to act in such a case...

Do I just act as if nothing ever happened? There are tons of other friends around who don't know the sitch, so I can't tell him what a slime I think he is, but on the other hand I really don't feel like smiling, shaking his hand and chatting friendlily.

I solved it temporarily by completely ignoring him, and dutifully following S1 over to the kiddi pool. I also happily noticed that he was staying as far away from me as possible, so I am not the only one who is uncomfortable.

It really pissed me off. This doesn't have anything to do with me - just W and OM being thoughtless and self absorbed - but now I have to feel uncomfortable!

And THEN!!!

on the way back from the pool, S6 pipes up and asks..."Daddy, why didn't we see (OM's Son's Name) and his Daddy at the pool today? Normally we do. " ..."Oh really?" ... (Now, his kids are friends with our kids, and they all do go to the same pool, so it would be hard to avoid running into them there if my W takes them to the pool, and S6 really has no concept of time, so "Normally" could have been once last year, but...

Add that to the fact that even though W promised not to flirt with OM2 any more, she has still been texting back and forth with him occasionally. (Now the texts are fewer than before, and he is still a client of hers, so they could be just coordinating schedules.....yeah right! )

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So I spent a good period of time this evening being angry. It's a good thing Mrs. Thinker is away for the weekend, because otherwise I would have blown my top. Right now I want to act with my head, and not my emotions.

I am almost positive that there is nothing going on in either case other than her being irresponsible and flirty and trying to keep her options open. It just continues to show her lack of regard or emotional commitment to me.

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As it is, she called earlier tonight, and when I saw who it was on caller ID, I just handed the phone to S4, then S6 without talking myself. They talked, said goodnight and hung up. I was still pissed off and didn't want to talk, so didn't.

This threw her enough that she called back again an hour later to talk to me - see how I was doing, talk about her drive, etc. - just tagging me to make sure I was still there I guess. I was calmed down by now, and was happy to talk to her and kept it short and friendly, but...

I really don't want to get into an R discussion over the phone.

Also, since I don't see an active A right now, I am trying to follow Sara's advice to "Let it Be" between now and Retro - still 8 weeks away.

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Still in the process of detaching...