sweet A, you are welcome ((((A))))) megahugs to ye!!! I'm glad that you found what I wrote helpful.
I think the reason I noticed that you might want to think about walking away from the convo is that it's something I'm having to learn myself. When I talk to my friends about my decisions about my future, career, location, etc sometimes I really keep trying to explain it to them even when the vibe is disconnected. This past weekend I actually had the self-awareness to not continue an unproductive conversation along these lines and I was really proud of myself. Trust me, it will feel good when you do it too!!!!
And it's a DB classic technique... strike when the iron is cold
also ... from seven lessons from making marriage work by john gottman... same idea.
I think that you guys will need to grapple with this stuff, but trying to do so when you're tired or tipsy or pissy or whatever, unless you're in the presence an amazing therapist, I wouldn't recommend it.
try to have some low-key fun together to build up a cushion for good times.
