trying to be strong and patient 14

[karen43]

Ok, what a day. First got email and call from L. She emailed that she thought H was grasping at straws with the pictures he took. She said no matter which of us has the kids they will fall & get bruises and sunburns. (Although if he keeps them cooped up in the apt. maybe not? So that was a huge relief. And I don't have to return the petty factor by doing that kind of stuff myself, so whew!

Then we went to the psych appt. for D9. H is asking to take D9 off her meds. He says he doesn't remember the 8 hours of meltdown/crying/screaming that occurred the first 4 years of her life before she started on the meds. I said well you were at work (and actually he was running/biking/swimming for triathlons then also). And then he would come home & yell at her when she would be loudly screaming/crying when he tried to sleep which I actually said at the appt. D9 says she remembers that too, but she said that when we got home.

The psych said it was clearly very stressful, H and I's dealing with each other, and said it's very important not to talk badly about the other parent as that's very stressful for the children. We said nothing although I was tempted to ask if him trash-talking me about sunburn/bruise and then taking pictures to show his L would qualify as a good example, but I restrained myself and said nothing.

I looked at H once or twice, and the weird thing is he seemed really icy and cold, but inside I could also tell he is full of anger. I hated every minute of it.

I was thinking on the drive home that if he wants to attend future appts. of D9, that I could ask the psych to meet with him separately to save D9 being exposed to the stress between us. (And also it would save me from the stress and anger too.)

I turned on the local Christian station and it was talking about how we need to avoid divisive people who are focused on themselves instead of God, and talk badly about people and cause dissension. How it's important to not associate with people like that. So that kind of confirmed my thinking. What do you think?

Then I get home and get an email from H that there is $25 of S15's matching money (for his Xbox)for D9's copay in her pack.

I honestly don't understand the increased anger on H's side. I guess b/c my L asked for production of his updated financials? Maybe b/c I'm not following the "script"? Karen