Ali,

I'm sorry to hear that there's trouble in paradise. I'm with Kat on this one, go back to what works!

Here are some things that came to mind when I was reading, JMO:

- You might want to think about re-reading passionate marriage and thinking about bf's ML problem in that context...

- If you get into another one of these arguments/discussions, it's totally OK for you to stop and say, "hey, I need to take a walk to clear my head" and just stop before it devolves anymore. Don't keep going once it starts to devolve. Don't keep pressing for the resolution you want. It's not going to happen when you guys are already upset.

- Some of your questions in the above discussion made me think that BF is confessing so much to you so quickly, that it doesn't seem productive for you to push for more answers.

- I would avoid making statements like "maybe you shouldn't have dived in" or "maybe you shouldn't have stayed in the situation as long as you did." As long as you're spelling it out for him like that, he can struggle with you instead of struggling with himself. And he needs to struggle with these things himself. He needs to come to these conclusions himself and you trying to facilitate it will only slow things down.

Just a couple thoughts...

love!~
T