This is why I would personally avoid going too far down the OM rabbit-hole. I too suspected an OM early in our separation and did some spying which I regretted. After we reconciled, I found out that many of the people who I thought might be an OM or at least be encouraging my W to leave were actually doing the opposite...encouraging her to stop the D. This guy may end up being a great supporter of your reconcilition. I think your time is far better spent focusing on you and your changes than wondering about your W and people around her right now.
Praising God Daily, Remaining "FaithfulH" Me: 62 W: 62 D:33 S:30 & 31 Married: 40 Years BD: Sep 2006 Piecing: May 2007 2nd BD: May 2014 Working On It: Today
