I agreed to let the W stay at our home with the kids in hopes that she would get closer with them and soften to the idea of being around here. Last night she stayed till 1am when she left for work. She hung out with D 6, chatted with the older kids. She did not prepare anything for dinner for the older two and just gave D 6 a bowl of cerial. No big deal here?
My problem is that I feel like the W is disrespecting me when she goes on line at our home. Example D 14 deleted some mp3 and photos, she asked me if I could recover them today. I down load a program and get the photos for her, along with some photos of men from e harmony last night when the W was on that computer.
to state a boundary you can't think about the outcome (detach) - it will get ugly if I contront her. It's the right thing to do.
here's aformula to use:
When you do _______________ (get online and download pictures of men from singles sites in our home.)
I feel _____________________ (disrespected)
I want _______________________( you to stop going online in our home looking for other men to date.)
If_______________________ (you do this again you will not be welcome in the home again.) Whatever consequence you will enforce.
State it calmly and very direct. This is a non-negotiable unalterable term (NUT).
It's healthy and easier than you think. You can handle it.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
