H wants a D so we can date...each other! WTF??!

[Trixi]

Went to counseling tonight and he maintained his position that the only way for us to ever have a chance is for us to divorce.

The couselor used the analogy that if this was a movie, H wanted "part 1" to end before he could even consider a "part 2".

The counselor wanted me to open up and say how I felt about what H was saying. I was upset and couldn't really express all the feelings I was having.

Actually, I basically said that I didn't see any point telling what I was feeling and the counselor was like "well that is part of intimacy". I scoffed and said "why would I want to expose myself to someone that doesn't want me?!?" C said "well, that is how you build a good relationship. You share yourself." I said "THAT is what marriage is for. A safe place to share yourself. Marriage provides the structure." C said "well, techically you're still married. Maybe sharing how you feel and how this will impact you will make a difference. Maybe not. But you need to give a voice to it."

H said that he would like to hear what I have to say. We go back Monday.

Am I crazy to feel like it doesn't matter what I feel? Is this skewed thinking? I mean seriously-- this is ALL about HIS feelings. HIM not wanting to be married. It doesn't matter that I feel like he is stealing my family from me. That I feel like he is stealing my best friend.

I am sort of feeling like if he wants out, then I may as well just go dark. Feels futile to open myself up.

..Should I share or not share?