I really do think that this time we have been apart has been good because these changes that I have made have become more permanent. Had we been able to live together again right after she left I feel like things probably would have gone back to the way they were. RTQ
RTQ,
There in lies the trouble! H didn't move out..we continue to share the same bed.
We did go through a sep 8 years ago when he had OW and moved out wanted a D because well "I love you I'm not in love with you". Upon his return home he claimed to have realized a lot of things and that he wanted to be a better h and father. He eventually fell right back into his old ways.
When I confront him with my question of "why should I believe anything will really be different now" he claims to have had an enlightenment and that things can't go back to the way they were because this is "it".
Things have been improving but I'm not certain if
1. I can believe it's real and will last 2. I can get past the past 3. accept that I may never know exactly what the past holds. 4. I can feel lovingly toward h again (I don't hate him I just don't feel a desire to be close to him anymore)
