Chapter 28 - Emergencies and winnings

[Toomanywords]

Yes, I've been entering contests - no big winnings.

I realized today walking to the bus stop for work that I didn't even think that it was July, it was around THAT time of the month.
No, not talking ovaries, talking about the time 4 years ago when my....whatever you want to call it....all started.
In previous years I remembered "on this date we seperated, on this date this or that".

I see this as a good sign. I know the dates if I think really hard, but that's just it - it's not fresh in my mind. I know certain dates will be there longer, maybe forever. Those are certain dates I know to schedule activities or just schedule to be alone and reflective depending on my mood.

In a possible bad turn of thoughts I realized that after 4 years I still have more good memories than bad, not that I ever had bad memories. Of course the painful, hurtful words said during the D will be a scar on my heart...possibly forever. But it's ok. I've learned and grown. In a sentimental moment I realized I don't remember his smell or the look in his eyes. The sound of his first name still causes a stir in me, even if I know it's someone else.


I don't know. Just sort of babbling out some thoughts that occured today. This is really the only appropriate place I could think of to release them, since I don't keep a journal or anything.

I definately am in a different place than I planned, and I know it's not a bad thing.



My friend, I think I mentioned her a couple months ago - she has 4 youngings and she was pondering D, but reconsidered. Well, she asked for the name/number of a lawyer. Her H is seemingly blindsided. I feel awful for them. I know the heartache, the betrayal. I only pray they can find their way through, one way or another.

There is a woman I work with. Her son is going through a D. She confided to me that she was sucidial over his D. I'm not a parent, and even parents that I've talked to thought this was a bit extreme. I told her about this website and I even gave her my copy of the book that I thinks he sent him.



O - I forgot to mention with other things going on that my dad got married, for the 3rd time. Both parents on #3. WOW. And I'm working on our family tree and apparently 3 marriages is not uncommon. Hope I can break the cycle.


I am finding information on programs that may help me fix up my house




Those are just about all of my random thoughts, ideas, emotions for the time being. Hope anyone reading this is well.