She and STBX had a 930 Court date this morning. STBX told me I was expected there as well....uh....not going...sorry.
It's a dilemma, I'm not sure I WANT to pay anything for my snotty, unrepentent kid to go to UCONN, but then what? She works at a deli and lives with 5 other kids?
I realize it's last minute notice and you might have work...but WHY are you not going? Do you feel it is between the two of them only?
Why is working at a deli and having roommates so she can afford rent so bad? Lots of people do it. It's part of the college/starting out experience IMHO. Especially if you're like me and didn't have parents who could pay for much. It'll teach her to budget and appreciate what she has - her health and the beauty in each day which is in the little things, not money.
STBXW really needs to learn to ask instead of tell lol.
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
(((FLTC))). My D18 is a handful so I know a tiny bit how you feel. I just wish our dtrs didn't think we(i.e. the parents) were so stupid! My D18 does EVERYTHING the hard way. She also expects things instead of being grateful for things. I just don't understand where we went wrong!
Well, Matilda, I'd have to say it is the generation. Most of my friends have similar complaints about their ungrates and they're not all kids whose parents are going through divorce. I told mine yesterday that I'm just tired of continuing to make rules and monitor an overgrown teen. I mean - I was married at her age! I think they'll end up ok but they're taking the rough road to get there.
You're under no legal obligation to pay for college tuition once your child is over 18. Unless you agree to it in the settlement. My oldest was a wild one, dropping classes, getting marginal to great grades for his first two years. We sent him to a state school because I wasn't going to pay private school tuition for him to learn to become a better partier.
His junior year I had him take student loans for his tuition (we paid for room and board). If he had a 3.0 or higher, we assumed the loan. If lower than that, it was his. He never went below except he got a free pass for the semester when all hell broke loose and his dad's indiscretions came out.
Irresponsibility comes with consequences. If your wife wants to pay her share upfront, she can. Don't allow it in the divorce decree. If it's a sticking point, put your boundaries in. As a parent you have a choice about what's appropriate for your children. You don't want the legal system telling you what to do with an irresponsible child. Your younger children will be taken care of (equivalent to UCONN) with each of you paying half.
About your wife hoarding the $11K a month in her own name. It says a few things. One: she does not need your income if she was able to save that amount. Two: If you go to trial, that behavior will be taken into consideration. Three: Adultery does count toward something in CT.
Under the law she can be eligible for lifetime alimony. Her income should be taken into account. You put in a 'second look' around the time you're eligible for retirement in the settlement. The court will review the finances again. If she remarries it's gone. If she cohabits, it's adjusted and/or gone.. though the term's definition is a bit loosey goosey in CT. It would be up to you to prove it.
And even though this is a bit late about your daughter abusing alcohol with friends in your domicile. You pressed charges, you made it happen. You should be there.
sending earnest prayers your way FLTC, how hard, I personally will keep my 6yr old girl in 1rst grade always...)*sigh* why do they have to turn 18?... A police record could harm her in the futre -- she does need a good wake up call of a differnt kind. I know of many awesome jobs that would turn down anyone with a record. I agree with the rest that you dont' owe her tuition, she should earn it somehow if only to teach her some responsibility.
Strenght and patience your way)))))
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
Just returned from two weeks with the Army. Have not posted in a long time. Posts seem to be getiing further and further apart. I guess that's healthy. As soon as I log in, I can feel the pain, lonliness and betrayal of all of us on this page. The memory of the hurt is evoked each time I see Michelle's face come up on the web site.
I remember back in 2006, logging in to check my responses almost every 10 minutes...living piece of advice to piece of advice. I never forgot some of the people who kept posting to me as my hurt dissapated over the years. Getting a cruel email from STBX would tear my soul apart and make the bottom feel like it was falling out of my stomach. The encouragement and advice and support I got here was beyond belief. SOmetimes it was all I had when I lived by myself, pre-Iraq deployment
I am in a great place. GymWoman and I are really happy, and it's great to be with someone who is neither angry or crazy. It's been 9 months since we started seeing each other, and every day she tells me she'll take care of my heart. I can only wish that all of you find a love again.
