EVERYTHING in your letter is almost word for word what my W told me as well. (well, except for the part about living on the street with her father, but EVERYTHING else. )
Her lack of feelings
Her belief that our children would be better off after a D.
Her statement that it just happened
Her vehement belief in "true love", and the fact that it "just happens". Her belief that if it were true love then it would never have faded.
Her statements that she was worried about you
All of it.
So please, don't take it personally. It is not a reflection on you. It does not invalidate your whole marriage or make your years of happiness a lie. Please take it exactly for what it is - a statement of her status as walking away from the R - the same statement that we have all gotten. It is all about her, not about you.
In my case, my W also claimed (first) that there was no OM, and then when I busted her on the EA, she denied vehemently that the EA had anything to do with her feelings about our R. We have been though several cycles of her claiming no EA, EA ended, Over, etc, each followed by me uncovering it again. I hate to add to your discomfort, or make you fear something that might not be true, but you really need to be realistic about the chances of an A.
Puppy and others gave me some really good advice about how to manage while my W was in an active EA. Listen to them.
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
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