There is no OM other than an old friend who is helping her through this. She sees him once a week for an employment thing. She texts him a lot, but I think he just tells her what she wants to hear.
Orich - I really don't want to add to your grief today - really bro just trying to be here for you - but that sticks out like a sore thumb.
Puppy??
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
By the way, I am completely blown away with how quickly you guys posted after my call for help. What an incredible resource we have here, full of amazing, self-giving people. What the hell is wrong with all of our spouses? Why do they choose to not see what we are? I don't know you people personally, yet you came to my aid. I will continue to lean on you as these next few weeks and months unfold. I don't think I would have made it as far as I did without you all. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. Continue to pray for me. Please continue to read my posts. I visit many of your posts during the day usually, right now it is hard to concentrate.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
There is no OM other than an old friend who is helping her through this. She sees him once a week for an employment thing. She texts him a lot, but I think he just tells her what she wants to hear.
Orich - I really don't want to add to your grief today - really bro just trying to be here for you - but that sticks out like a sore thumb.
Puppy??
Oh, I've already told him the same thing, long ago. People never want to believe there's an OM, but I think it makes it MUCH less painful when you read (or hear) the words that O got today in this letter. Because when there is an emotional attachment to an OM, physiologically, the brain changes COMPLETELY, and it explains why they've been walled off from you, and it also explains that the hurtful words are just so much gaslighting b.s.
I know, I know. It's just that that isn't supposed to happen to me. It only happens to other people, not me.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
What the hell is wrong with all of our spouses? Why do they choose to not see what we are?
it's because her picture frame told her what to feel!??
Quote:
I am completely blown away with how quickly you guys posted after my call for help. What an incredible resource we have here, full of amazing, self-giving people.
All us DAM have got to stick together.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
Orich - I would be very careful about how you proceed here with the lawyer. Personally I would get my own and did, but that's just me. I got some great advice on this very site about protecting my self. Long story short- I have full custody of my 3 boys and final say on all decisions. She is clearly looking for you to make this as easy as possible for her. And by the way - that entire letter was the cookie cutter that everyone else gets. Please take a step back and decide what is important to you if this actually goes to a divorce. It sounds like she is trying to play upon your good nature to get you to do what SHE wants.
And please don't misinterpret my intentions. I want you to save your M if that's what you want. But most of all I want you to protect yourself and do what's best for your children.
And please listen to Puppy about the OM. There is at least a good possibility that is what is at the root of this whole thing.
Strength and Honor.
Mules
M 43 W 44 M 17 T 22 S16,12,9 Bomb 2/05/08 I served her 1/06/09 S'd 3/15/09 D'd 12/21/09
"Tough times don't last, tough people do." --My Dad to me years ago, me to my boys now.
The truth is that most people don't walk out of a M unless there is someone else there. I'm not saying this is always the case. But the majority of cases I have seen is exactly that. Prior to that, they didn't have any reason to want out. I refused to believe for the longest time that my W had someone else in her life even though everyone else saw it but me. I later found out they were right. I just did not want to believe she would do something like that and I just thought none of them knew what they were talking about. It is all cookie cutter for the most part.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
