why it takes d for so many to "get it"

[Refuse to quit]

Antlers I agree with you completely. Being a LBS as well I have taken the last few months here to really look within. I know that I am a better person than the one I was a few months ago and I know that I continue to improve daily. I hope and pray every day that the W will see the changes and want to be a part of them. LL I know it is hard to see. Looking back at myself and how I acted I think how silly it was. At the time it did not seem that abnormal. It was mirroring the way I was brought up. It was not a good lifestyle but that is how I was raised. It took me having to step back and take a look at it and see that there is a better life for me as a father and hopefully a husband again someday. I really do think that this time we have been apart has been good because these changes that I have made have become more permanent. Had we been able to live together again right after she left I feel like things probably would have gone back to the way they were. I am sorry for the pain you must feel LL. I can only imagine that my W was feeling some of the same things. At this point for our R I know it could work for both of us, I just pray that she gives me the opportunity.
RTQ