Re the money: you obviously have the math to back up your claim that you were giving her money that covered your contribution to tuition.
Those depositions should be interesting.
Wow about smarmy's wife. Talk about more fuel being thrown onto the drama fire!
STBXW sure can't let go can she! I was babysitting my younger siblings when I was 13. Granted, for a couple hours, not a weekend, but still! Did they end up staying with her? If so, I'd take her up on the trade so that you can have more time with the kids. Just my opinion though.
How was the wedding? Hope you guys had fun!
Michelle - Proud DR Rockette S: 28JUL07, D'd: 29OCT09 http://tinyurl.com/27j9qo2
We had a great time. STBXW just called me today to let me know that D19 (Today, on her birthday!) punched STBX and STBX had her arrested and she has to go to family court tomorrow! Awesome! When I was away this weekend D19 had kids at my place where they drank a ton of beer. I made a police report too. She showed no remorse. No apology. Nothing but you owe me tuition.
D19 IS STBX. They are the same person! It really is time for D19 to work without a net! She nneds to hit bottom. Too bad, because she was set to start school at the University of Connecticut, after working hard to transfer there. A great school. So much promise, and she's tossing it away!
I'm sure the moderator will remove this post as it is not DB related! Sorry, but you guys have shared this agony with me for almost 4 years!
Sorry about D19 -- it would be nice for her to get out of this without a record. Could you and XW jointly support some sort of treatment in lieu of a criminal record when she goes to her hearing? What she really needs is help, not something that will damage her chances for the rest of her life.
Not sure I understand your last sentence -- how is dealing with kids post-D not D related???
FLTC: I don't see how calling the Police on your daughter solves any problems. My daughter who is 20 has had friends over drinking when I've not been here even though it goes against the rules. And I have dealt with it. I would not consider calling the Police. Do you think that will help her? Do you think it will help your R. No! It will cause a further rift and she will lose trust.
Your daughter is acting out. She needs some guidelines, rules and discipline. She does NOT need a police record. you can't control what your ex does but you can control what you do. Be there for her.
Do not leave your son with her. She has proved herself unreliable. If you have plans on your w/e with the kids - get a babysitter. That's what the rest of us do. Its not up to your wife to switch w/es with you.
I don't think either of you handled things well at all.
Barb, I think it was the younger D that FLTC asked to babysit, not the one getting into trouble currently.
But to play devil's advocate, FLTC could have offered his stbx the "right of first refusal" before having made plans, if he knew he would be away for a significant amount of time. Seems that his ex should have approached it that way, rather than just going ahead and changing what was set up.
A little history on D19. She hit her mother on two previous occassions while I was in Iraq. This was after she came back from a school for troubled kids, after we pulled her out of public school because she was so alcohol and drug involved.
On one occassion, she gave STBX a bloody nose. Yesterday was the THIRD time she put her hands on STBX.
This was while we were paying for a therapist and a psychiatrist.
When I returned from Iraq last July, D19 moved into my little place with me, because she could not live with her mother.
One weekend when I met some of my friends from Iraq, she had a number of kids in my apartment, and there was a lot of drinking. Vomit on my bathroom wall attested to that.
I told her how I felt betrayed and how dangerous it was if for instance, a kid was sitting on the windowsill of my apartment, and tumbles nine stories.
This past weekend was the SECOND time she did it. She had a key from last summer, and knew I would not be home. When I called her on it, there was no remorse, no "I'm sorry", all I got was " What do you want, I had a few kids and we had some drinks before WE DROVE 30 MILES TO ANOTHER TOWN!"
She manaaged to get herself transferred to the best public college in New England; UCONN. She has (or had) it all going for her.
3x HITTING STBX + 2X DRINKING PARTIES AT MY APARTMENT + NO REMORSE + DISREGARDING THERAPIST = A NEED TO HIT ROCCCKKKKKKK BOTTOM. She needs a good kick in the as$ at this point. SHE IS A CLASSIC ALCOHOLIC; IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT SOMEONE ELSE: ME, STBX, THE EASTER BUNNY, ELVIS, BILLY MAYS, THE SHOOTERS ON THE GRASSY KNOLL!
oldtimer: When I was in Iraq, I posted for some advice about D17 who had (has?) a severe eating disorder, and it was removed by the moderator (I can see why), but I was in some need of some realy virtua support from my old friends here!
I remember Barb ranting about the moderator taking it down! (That was awesome!)
FLTC: I think I have a better understanding now. It is SO dangerous when the kids have parties when we're not around. I stress this to my D20 all the time. It is a huge Liability!
FLTC - Sorry to hear about your 19 year old daughter. It sounds like she is on her way to spending some time in a penitentiary someday if she does not start shoot'n straight. Hopefully she can get her act together at UCONN.
