I said it did not work out in our schedule with such short notice. Then I used the Coachs words "How can I help you see the kids more often?" The silence was lasted till D 6 returned 4 minutes later. She never answered the question.So I got up and left.
Quote:
My key phrases: "I understand why you might think that way"
" I understand why you would feel that way"
"I can see why you would think that way of that"
"This is your choice, not mine"
Anything using the phrase "This is your choice"
Just validate her feelings, even if you don't agree. Or just remove yourself from the situation till she cools off. Tell her you are willing to work with her, but she needs to work with you at the same time.
You have to realize that in her state of mind right now, her way is the only one that makes sense. In her mind, you are %100 responsible for everything wrong and the only way to fix this is to get out.
You see how if you agree with her and let it be her decision she gets stumped. She can't be mad at you if you are on her side. You still have boundaries and don't let her mind read. Validating and you keeping your emotions in check will help you.
Cheers
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
