At least one of the counselor's you mentioned (Baucom) is not who he says he is and is not recommended by this site.
Please be careful who you seek advice from and waste money on in that regard.
Your DB coach has credentials behind him/her: the appropriate education in the form of a university degree, extensive practice experience before coming to DB, DB training, a commitment to marriage and a long term marriage him/herself. A successful track record.
When you get advice all over the place, and have a hard time sifting through it, you can't be focused. And therefore your own efforts are all over the place, and your results will be all over the place.
Pick something. stick with it a little while. Monitor results. If it works, stay with it. If it doesn't THEN do something different. THEN repeat.
Pursuing your wife is working AGAINST you per your own notes here. Don't do that.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
