After hearing about you from my friend K4D, I have been spending some time going over your threads. I know you are hurting tonight....but, I want to encourage you that this is NOT the end. As K4D said, I was in your shoes at one time...with no hope....except that I knew that God was going to be with me no matter what. That became my strength....and eventually my W returned to the marriage. I will only tell you that your marriage can once again be amazing beyond belief. It might be useful if you spend a few hours (sorry it is a long bunch of threads) reading through my sitch as you will see it change from hopeless to an amazing restoration....that is still getting better every day! All of the glory goes to God...my only role was to get out of the way and let God handle the tough stuff.
BTW, I also want to thank you for your service to the NY community! In that I have been a resident of CT for 7 years, a frequent visitor to NYC, with a daughter who attended college at NYU, I have personally benefited from the service of you and your colleagues. As Shawn Hannity says, "You're a great American, Orich!"
Although I am not on the boards very often these days, I will try to check in on you from time to time!
Praising God Daily, Remaining "FaithfulH" Me: 62 W: 62 D:33 S:30 & 31 Married: 40 Years BD: Sep 2006 Piecing: May 2007 2nd BD: May 2014 Working On It: Today
She is in the bed. How can I go in there now? I'm tired but don't know if I can sleep. This is going to be so hard. I feel like I am in the twilight zone.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
You need to take care of yourself as hard as it may seem right now. Can you go for a walk so that you can settle down and get some rest? It is going to be VERY important that you take care of yourself physically (rest, good diet, exercise) because your emotions are going to make you feel like you are on a roller coaster. You WILL be OK....regardless of the choices your W makes. Focus on you right now....not her.
Praising God Daily, Remaining "FaithfulH" Me: 62 W: 62 D:33 S:30 & 31 Married: 40 Years BD: Sep 2006 Piecing: May 2007 2nd BD: May 2014 Working On It: Today
I will try. I will continue going to the gym, I will try to eat right. I will continue to pray for the strength I will need. I want to cry, but not here, not now. I am scared to be alone, but I am so very scared for my kids. They will be 6 and 4 next month. I can't be apart from them.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
Your feelings are natural and understandable. Keep focus on being the best YOU that you can be! The rest will take care of itself. I can tell you that it is going to be tempting to focus on the future and what the next 6 months...1 year....or more will bring. Don't fall for it! You must focus much closer in right now....what are you gonna do right now and tomorrow. The sense of being out of control can be overwhelming. I think these are the times where God wants to show you that you don't HAVE to be in control of everything all the time. Be in charge of what you can control....your health...your kids health and well being. You have to leave your W to God right now! You ARE up to it!
Praising God Daily, Remaining "FaithfulH" Me: 62 W: 62 D:33 S:30 & 31 Married: 40 Years BD: Sep 2006 Piecing: May 2007 2nd BD: May 2014 Working On It: Today
Dear Lord, I pray that you protect Orich's W and kids from all harm through these tough times. I pray that you give Orich the strength he needs to fend off any challenge that comes his way while also giving him the peace and patience to love his wife deeply during these tough times. I pray that you comfort him in his loneliness....and mostly I pray that you show him that you are ALWAYS with him. Amen!
Praising God Daily, Remaining "FaithfulH" Me: 62 W: 62 D:33 S:30 & 31 Married: 40 Years BD: Sep 2006 Piecing: May 2007 2nd BD: May 2014 Working On It: Today
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
One sleepless night later... I awoke this morning to hear W out in the living room with the boys watching TV. She sounds so happy, laughing and playing with the kids. It is sinking in now. She truly doesn't love me. I am nothing more to her now than an interloper into her life because I happen to be the kids' father. She never had any softening of her heart. Every time I thought she was having second thoughts about leaving, it was her just feeling bad for me. That's it. Her IC is helping her to stop doing that. So, it truly is the end; I will no longer have a family. A few of you guys say that it still may work out in the future. I can't see how. Her mind is firmly made up. I will continue to pray for strength, as I feel it slipping away rapidly. I never thought it would come to this. Through this whole experience, deep down I thought she really did love me and would come around. Obviously I was wrong. The Great Sadness is becoming the Great Depression.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
You HAVE to re-focus. It a'int over til the fat lady signs man. And she hasn't started.
Quote:
I will no longer have a family
I know what you are saying, but WRONG. No matter what she does, you will always have your kids. THAT is your family, and THAT will never change.
Quote:
The Great Sadness is becoming the Great Depression.
This is completely, totally up to you. Whether you LET it go there is YOUR decision. You never responded to my post last night about an IC (I could've missed it). Can you swing that? If not, does your employer have an employee assistance program (EAP) - IC mioght be covered under your health insurance. You REALLY need to find a way to make this work.
I know you are hurting, badly. Your decision is how much you are going to let this affect your life. Give yourself time to get it our (away from her), then re-group and re-focus. Ask yourself if you want to keep fighting or if you are ready to walk away.
What are you doing for GAL'ing? Exercising?
It is more important than ever for you to take care of yourself now - eat, sleep and exercise. And pray, pray, pray. I will be for you, and I did last night.
You have to be strong now for you and for your children. They need you man.
The MC we used to see is now my IC. I will see him again a week from today. I don't think i will slip into depression. Just very sad. It is so hard to see a future with us happily married right now. I want to continue to fight for her, but I am so tired and beat down. How can she possibly change her mind? There isnothing wrong with her, no depression, no issues to work through. She simply does not love me. She doesn't even like me. She told me she is very happy as long as I am not around.
Me-40 W-41 Together-10 M-8 S-6 S-4 Bomb 5/08 Bomb 10/08 Thought things were better, was wrong. Still living together Wife doesn't think she will ever love me again.
