Obviously I put my kids safety first.But whether I do them or a shop it will be done.I have been pretty dark lately with her but I know there might be times when she might ask me for help.Do we blow off our WAS's to maintain the darkness or do we have to treat them good once in a while?The whole point of DBing besides taking care of yourself is to start communicating with our spouses at some point.
True, but there's a difference between being nice and cake eating. If all she wants from you is a favor, that's not meaningful communication. If you think it could open itself to it, like maybe inviting her to coffee after you fix them, then it would be good.
If however while you're fixing the brakes, she's out with the OM, or doesn't interact with you while you're doing them, then it's cake eating.
Do you share the kids equally? How long has she been with the OM?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Stuck, We share the kids equally.As for the om,she says its just for sex.I dont know exactly how serious she is emotionally about him.Length of time approx.several months.She has the kids 4 nights a week.That cuts a little into time she can spend with om.
As for her watching me while I do them.She'll be working while I fix them.Probably better offf so she doesn't hear me cursing while doing it.I understand about cake eating and favors.There seems like there could be a fine line between them.
I have to admit, that's the most shallow thing I've ever heard from the WAW side. Usually it's about "emotional connection" blah blah blah. This is the first time I heard that it's strictly sex.
How was your sex life before separating?
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
Stuck,to answer your question.I meant more that she can have sex with someone and not get emotionally attached.The last hour has been a killer.I texted w about car and it turned into a 1 hour conversation and not a good one.Well maybe a tiny part.I told her I would do the brakes and then she said are we going to discuss divorce this weekend.I tried to break away from that but she started saying a bunch of stuff her lawyer told her of what she is entitled to.I told her my lawyer said just the opposite.Well this went on for about 20 minutes.I kept my cool the best I could and said I don't want to fight about it,that I wanted whats best for both of us.She said she is adament about not staying married.period.and that she has no intention of getting married again.I told her we could just take some time.She said she doesn't need any more time.Then things cooled down a bit.She said would I do the legal separation.After 1 year this could be converted into a divorce.I said fine.Figured that could buy more time.Maybe at the end she'll go for divorce anyway.But a year is a year.Anyway then I asked her whose vacation house she is taking the kids to.She said the guy she is seeing now.Not the same one from a couple months ago.I bit my tongue.She said he is not going to be there.I believe her about that because she said it is detrimental to the kids to introduce them at this stage.But right now it is killing me.We left off with a goodnight and she said she'll have sep. agreement drawn up.Now I feel like telling her to take the car to the mechanic and pay triple what I would've charged her for the brakes.I am so pissed right now.I kept my cool though and got out of the divorce for now.Now what would my next step be?
i just have to ask some of the experienced people out there.now that she has told me about om.should i just tell her i'm happy for her and just act non-chalantly about this.I mean there is nothing i can do about it.Just give an i dont care if you are seeing someone attitude?
Well another morning is here.Been very confused about what to do right now.We talk about being strong for ourselves and not showing weakness.My w last night was pretty much telling me that she won't have to give up anything in divorce.I told her I dont think so.I didnt want to explode into a full blown war so I just laughed it off.I know what I am entitled to by the laws in our state.Like I mentioned above she said she would do sep agreement.Question is by agreeing to her terms to me is like a sign of weakness but if I start arguing about it,it could incite her even more.I don't want to get a divorce but I also don't want to look like I backed down either.Any advice?
