I'm sorry it isn't better and it doesn't feel like a win. It is a win for the kids that don't have to spend every day with their 'dad'. That's a step in the right direction!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
In a bit of time, I will see the positive of all of this.... right now, all I can see is me not having my kids with me, and the court treating me as if Dick's allegations are true.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
I'm so glad your S is about to turn 18, and that your D will at least be able to spend more you. I'm an ethical vegetarian, so it doesn't bother me that their (so-called) dad no longer wants to hunt and fish. BUT, he's still an industrial strength *sshole! I'd like to take a baseball bat to him, too!
He really doesn't give a rat's *ss about your kids.
It is difficult to get a true perspective when you're in the middle of a situation. I believe you will have that later when he cannot take you to court for anything. When he does not even have the right to know where you live (or even where the kids live). Not long now and you will be on the liberty train. Free from his drama. WooooooooHooooooo!!!!!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
oh, yes, the hindsight stuff.... I have 20/20 hindsight!
Yesterday, on my way back from the vets, I realized Dick is trying to embarass me or expose me (if you will) because I exposed his affair with Jane so long ago... it's funny how the answers to things drop in my lap when I least expect them to.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
And he has to invent his 'exposure' of you and purjure himself in a court of law. What a sad excuse for a man. But, you have your hindsight, 'eh!
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
I exposed Dick's affair back in 2002.... but more than the affair, I exposed him, a part of who Dick really is, and it's this itself he can't bear... because he is mr. perfect, and also the victim here and in all of his relationships.
In realility, Dick was a victim, a victim of his Father's abuse. Dick has become his Father now, and he only has victims, which now includes his own Father. Dick abuses his own son,just as he once was.... as Dick also treats me as his Father treated his Mother, yet plays the victim or the innocent bystander as his father once did also.
The cycle continues.....
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
That is so sad. I hope the cycle stops with your son. But, I think with a mom like you, it probably will.
Take care.
Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed. D35,S/D twins28,D22 EA4/04 End? Who knows? "Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim
We can't predict if the cycle will stop with my S, or with D either. I know my children will have emotional scars from all that has gone on, and I can't say which scars will cause the greatest harm, or cause them their own quirks in adulthood.
I know while in California, both children put an end to the relationship they had here. S started partying, while D began another friendship/relationship, although denies any attraction. I know it's too early in thier lives to see a pattern in their relationships, however, I can't help wonder if these are the seedlings to what is to become.
I have been talking to my attorney, and have asked if it would be possible if I begin to take the children to counseling, to the doctor and dentist. These things have been ignored in the children's lives, and I want to reinstate some sort of healthy regimen in their lives. My attorney told me to go ahead and begin this process under the guise of "helping" the placement parent. We won't take it to the other attorney, we will just begin the process.
I have begun to see the picture she has in her head. One, as S begins to move back into our home, (by November) and as his stability improves, as hopefully his grades will also, along with staying out of trouble, we will begin to develop a platform for bringing D back home too. We will also have my comittment to the children's emotional and physical well being as a measure of my parenting ability.
One firm step at a time....
Dick is loosing it, I see him hitting rock bottom by next year, at least financial rock bottom, which I believe may bring some emotional with it. I really see him loosing everything, especially if child support is brought back into monthly finances. He has been using his Father's money in order to make it, and soon this will not be enough, especially if he is ordered to make payments to the children now.
Jane is going to court at the end of August, the Father's are once again trying to make her pay her child support with also having the Judge make an order to receive past or owed child support. With the two of them owing so much support, I feel the spiral will bein. Since it has only been two or three years since his last bankruptcy, Dick won't have a back up plan.
The other strange thing that happened on Wednesday, was Dick's attorney tried twice to say "hi" to me with a friendly smile. The first time, I just looked at her with this "WTF" look on my face.... for she's been nasty to me on several other occasions. The second time, I acknowledged her hello, with a nod, however, gave her a "don't bother being nice now to me you snake" look... (no don't ask what that looks like, because I can't describe it lol) The only thing I can think, is that she finally sees her client has lost it....
I mean think about it... for the past two years he's been accusing me of being abusive, and this time he was trying to say I am too permissive to have S at home with me. Well, Dick, which is it? Abusive or permissive? Generally, abusive people are controlling, won't allow their prey to make a choice of their own. Secondly, Dick has been saying I've been evicted out of both of my homes, which the Judge knows not to be true. He's been also saying that I was the one who sold out the farm, piece by piece... which of course the bank foreclosed on the farm due to his lack of payment and bankruptcy... so I believe she is trying to be nice before the storm of legalities begins to hit her and her client.
S will come home by November, quite possibly sooner. D will turn 17 soon after. Dick will have Christmas with D, Spring Break, and next summer and then the last Christmas with D.... after that, it will be ours to share. Both children believe they will be going to college locally for their first two years... which will mean we will have time to re-establish our family and our traditions. The thoughts of this soothes my heart and soul, as we will finally begin rebuilding our lives.
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
