Yep, another WAW - in last resort

[lonelywolf]

Thanks, mac-ct.

At the very least, I'm going to learn more patience from this. I just have to let things work themselves out and learn to accept whatever happens.

I just hope that I can save the marriage, but at the very least I do need to save myself. I really worry about out kids, though. The two oldest will not take this well if it goes through, especially so soon after moving.

[mac-ct]

Patience is a virtue and a pain in the a$$ to REALLY learn.

I'm not saying you have to let things go and see where things go. I am saying that you have the power to change things. Starting with yourself.

Be SO positive, be there for your kids. your wife and YOURSELF.

Jeez - I'm starting to sound like that ancient philosopher - Confusion!

Keep your chin up.

Mac

[lonelywolf]

I hope I have the power to change things. I'm working on improving myself (paying off debt, anger management classes, counseling). I hope that if I save myself, I can save the marriage,

Thanks for the advice - Confusion is a great teacher, methinks.

[lonelywolf]

Usually it's one day at a time. Some days, it's one breath at a time.

I thought I was starting to detach. But then I saw our last family picture in our wallet and spent several hours sobbing.

Somehow, I'll make it through.

[lonelywolf]

As said above, speculation is useless. She's back from visiting her grandparents, but has yet to contact me.

Our anniversary is in three weeks and change. I'm going to hold off contacting her unless there's an emergency. Last Resort goes against all my instincts, and I'm afraid her parents are just going to keep encouraging her to leave me. It worries me that I can't fight back against their influence - but as my previous experience shows, trying to do that only worsens the problem. So, I guess even if it gets worse, it won't get as worse.

[lonelywolf]

I feel better today. No real changes. I guess it will come and go. Nothing to report, but I'll try and post here once a day as a journal type thing.

[lonelywolf]

She seems to be spending money like crazy down there. Our joint checking account is about to bounce. I don't get it. I told her I would make sure she had enough to provide for the kids (even though her parents have told her they'll pay for everything she needs), but she needed to let me know how much she needed. Instead, she's just buying lots and lots of stuff and not telling me. I have no way of putting more money in the account for at least three weeks. What do I do if she bounces the account?

For someone who claims to be divorcing me partly over my excessive spending, she's acting rather unusually. I actually trust her with money, so I doubt she's being frivolous (as I often was), but its disturbing nonetheless.

Any helpful advice out there?

[MrBond]

Yeah cut it off. Take the funds you can and put it in a separate account before she leaves you high and dry. You need to live too.

I've got the feeling she's got an OM.

[lonelywolf]

I doubt very much she has an OM. But she may be trying to give me some payback for my spending over the last few years - a "see how much you like it!" type thing.

[lonelywolf]

My guess is that, considering where the purchases are, she's buying new clothes and school supplies for the kids. School starts where she is in about three weeks.

I just wish she'd let me know. I can make sure there's enough in checking for her, but I'm afraid she's just not telling me anything.

And a fried who went through a divorce told me to not cut the checking off, because he did that, and they used it against him in the court (saying he abandoned his kids financially, left the wife high and dry without support, etc.) So, I think I'll just watch checking very carefully and perhaps ask my father for an advance on the next paycheck if I need to make a small deposit. He's pretty cool about that - one advantage of working for your father's summer business.