People DO change. They change all the time. And you can initiate many changes by changing what YOU DO. Not by your words not by your requests.
These changes usually are figured out by trial and error, and unfortunately, when things get physical, you don't have a large margin for figuring things out, putting distance between you is the best way to work things out, if that's what you choose to do.
Some abusers do change. You cannot count on it.
MY OPINION, not necessarily DB advice:
You are worth so much more than that risk. Girls, he WILL screw you over financially. Don't worry about it. Others will step forward to help you. It WILL be ok.
You will become a giant emotionally. Be brave. You already have been. You have so many emotional and relational skills, doing the dance you've been doing with him.
One caution: DO NOT POST too many details of your plan. You do not want to be able to be 'found' by your details on the board. And the details might not get removed by a moderator if you accidentally post. Be careful.
sg Love is PATIENT, love is KIND, LOVE never fails / DB since 2001
