Trying to cope with H, IA/EA (was Newbie-1st post)

[givingitmyall]

Ash

You are doing great. You, unlilke him, have a gameplan. Stick to it like you are doing. Maintain your calmness and keep the focus on him.

[Faith2010]

GIMA - I'm tryin! Thanks for the support!

[Faith2010]

Question for those who have dealt with a spouse who is cheating.

How do you face your spouse everyday? Now that I know H and OW have had some form of sexual intimacy (phone sex/cyber sex) I can barely stand to look at him. It makes me sick to my stomach. H continues to lie about the affair which is just another slap in the face.

I want to kick him out of our bedroom but don't think it's the right thing to do in continuing with DBing.

What do you do when your spouse is all nice, hugs and kisses, like nothing has happened? H pretends there's nothing going on. I can't pretend. My emotions range between intense anger to unimaginable hurt.

[givingitmyall]

Hey Ash,

Just got the kids to bed. W is out with a former female co-worker having dinner.

Just checking on you to make sure all is well (of course, relatively speaking).

[Stronger]

Wow Ashlee. I've not read your thread until today. Check out our FB page.
I'm actually taking the next two days off so I'm still awake....not normal for me.
The similarities in our situations scares me.
Wow.

[mishka422]

(((Ash)))

I don't have any advice for you on how to face the cheating spouse. Mine left within a day after I finally uncovered the total truth and moved in with his OW where he remains to this day.

All I can say is that you have to handle this in the way you know you can live with. If it makes you stronger and better able to enforce your boundaries to call him on the carpet regarding his lies and disrespect, then do it. If it makes you feel bad afterward then it probably isn't the way you should be going about it. There is detatchment and then there is loving detatchment. I hope you can find the balance you need.

I hope you are having a good evening all in all.

[Tomato]

hi mish ... nice post to your friend

[Gardener]

Ash,

how are you doing tonight> I took a couple of days off the old forum, just caught up on your sitch. Stay strong, you're doing well. Be weak on here with us, just continue to stand firm with dignity when engaging with him.

[JackieH]

Ash,

How are you doing? How has it been with him home? Did you tell him you know about the extent of their relationship? How was IC? Are you going back? I'll stop with the questions, for now.

Jackie

[JackieH]

Hi Ash,

How are things going?