You definitely could benefit from staying here. don't be embarrassed, we all could feel the same way. My father used to remind that mistakes were necessary for our learning and that we should welcome them in our world.
I do think that you should be setting some clear boundaries with H's drinking behavior to assure everyone's safety to the best of your ability. Avoid arguing about his behavior, as you already know he can make an argument out of anything. Don't take what he says personally b/c he doesn't mean it nor will he remember it later.
Finally, hold onto support for yourself as much as possible to keep your sanity intact = the kids need you to be ok.
And one more thing... it isn't your fault that he drinks... if he could stop or control it there wouldn't be a problem.
