I know this is just my doubt and insecurity speaking (well, screaming actually)...
I am afraid she will interpret my detachment as proof that I am "getting over it" and "moving on"; that she will think I am no longer interested in reconciliation, so she won't try even if (miracle of miracles) the A blows up and/or she changes her mind and wants to....?
Ack. Phooey. :-P
I know what you mean! I told my wife after one D discussion that went well (no fighting or emotional flare ups) that I didn't want her to think that the fact it went well meant that I was accepting what she wanted. It just meant that I was getting better at managing my emotions while talking about it. I have to keep reminding myself that it's loving detachment, not just detachment. I think the loving part is important. If you just detach and seem upset or cold, then it leaves the impression you are reluctantly moving on. But if you can do it with some cheerfulness (hard to do I know), then I think your spouse will see it more as growth on your part and hopefully signs of the "old you".
