I'm not asking you to appease your W at all, nor help out WASs. I'm trying to help YOU out. You seem to be in an (understandably) angry and reactive place. If you can take a step back and eliminate some of the emotion from your choices, you'll wind up in a better place.
I don't assume that your concern was about your XW's LL. You were the one that mentioned that concern with respect to the 10 mile limit. I said IF that was your concern, to let it go.
Now, it seems that your real concern is having the kid's school within x miles of your house and limiting the roundtrip commute time for kid swaps to under y minutes. So, rather than simply saying "no" to eliminating the 10 mile limit, my suggestion is that you instead reply with what YOU really want. The 10 mile limit is rather arbitrary. Thus, in the interests of making progress on the custody issue, you might suggest, "I am fine with eliminating the 10 mile limit as long as the kid's school is within half an hour from my house and my roundtrip commute for kid swaps is under one hour." (Or, whatever numbers work for you.) The point is to move the discussion forward and get to what really matters with respect to the 10 mile limit.
As for the scouting thing, XW had custody of your son that day. Period. Your choice to go to the scouting event cost him the opportunity to go. Period. If XW is unwilling to give up her time with son to you for scouting events, there is not much you can do about it unless you change the agreement. If you want to keep scouting limited to you and him, then you are going to interfere with his scouting. That is not going to be good for him. Try not to be jealous of XW's activities with son. You are not going to lose his love, nothing and no one could ever replace you in his life. What is important is have good quality time and creating special times together. You'll have plenty of opportunities to do with scouting AND with new things in your lives. Again, it is pretty standard for ex-spouses to avoid each other. Indeed, at this point it is probably best for your son that he not be put in the position of dealing with both parents at such an event for now and the forseeable future -- until you and XW have a clean, settled, civil, unemotional, business-only co-parenting R.
I really have no idea how XW is continuing to transgress against you, nor how she did in the past. It is irrelevant to YOUR best moves at this point, unless the kid's welfare is at stake in a way that is legally actionable. Right now the best thing you can do is focus narrowly on getting the business arrangements settled in the way that is best for you and the kids. If you think that you'll get a better deal and hurt the children less by going to court to fight it out, then go for it. But, that is seldom the case.
As for why I am on these boards, I am here to try to help people out from a more objective perspective. There are plenty of cheerleaders, consolers, and people pleasers on these boards. There are plenty of people struggling through the same issues. Having been an LBS with a WAS myself, and come out the other side, I post to people I think I can help with a pretty direct manner from a pretty detached, rational place. They mostly find my help valuable and my intuitions surprisingly sharp, but not always. It seems that you do not, so I can certainly stop posting to you. But, I urge you to open your mind and try to get a new perspective on things. That you think I am defending WASs says a lot about the perspective you now hold. We all go through a stage in which our vision is very skewed and clouded by emotion. Don't let that get in the way of your and your kids' best interest.
Finally, I'm sorry that you felt attacked by my post. Trust me, my intent was not to attack, but to support you. That being said, I take your last comment to me to be a request to stop posting to you, and I can certainly honor your request.
Take good care and keep the big goals in mind so that the smaller things don't get you off track. And don't forget that the things that piss you off the most on these boards are usually those that are worth paying the most attention to.
