You can just politely tell her that you had plans and that you will see her at the time you specified. If she continues to make a fuss, stop her before she starts to rant and tell her that you are not discouraging her and just tell her that she is the one who chose to live like this so she should not be angry. It was not your choice to live like this.
Again, talk to her very straightforward without a condescending tone. We all have to get over this anger phase with our WAWs. My W did the same thing. While we were S, we went to an exhibit that she agreed to go to and we had a good time, but when I dropped her off at her sister's place, she called to rant at me about how I should not have let my sister watch the kids while we were gone. I told her exactly what I said above and she stopped. She knew that it was her.
The key is to stop them before they go on their venomous rant. You can agree with them on points such as how hard it is on them. But stand your ground when it comes to them blaming you. You don't have to throw the blame back on to them, but just gently stop them before it escalates.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
