As usual, you are entitled to your opinion but I disagree, completely. I am beginning to think your entire viewpoint on such matters is centered on promoting the interests of the WAS and less on the interests of the children as you may claim. You certainly seem less concerned for the LBS.
The scouting thing was a no-win situation for me. You are absolutely wrong though in assuming letting the WAW have her way was going to do anything to promote peace for my S's much less be in their best interests. That way leads down a slippery slope -- I have given her inch after inch and she takes mile after mile. If she were to claim the one remaining activity I share with my son(s) -- after losing so many others to her already, and all because she can't share like a mature, rational adult -- I might as well hang up my parenting hat for good, because she would not stop until I am completely out of the picture. How would that help my children?
Likewise, lifting the 10-mile limit as a condition of shared parenting would be a poison pill solution. It gives her the cover to say she supports shared parenting, but if she moves the children more than an hour away (as she has planned long before this bomb) then it makes the practicality of being able to share parenting 50-50 impossible. She knows that, and that's why she made the offer. Even were I to persist she would then be able to go before a judge and claim harm to our kids since I would thus be forced to drive them more than two hours per day just to commute them to and from school. I'd be an idiot to allow her to put me in that situation.
But you assume that I must be trying to control my xW and her sinful LL. That is the least of my concerns, as I know I cannot control her and I certainly don't want any responsibility for her or her outcome at all.
I understand it is best that one forgive and forget, but you can't really forgive someone if that other party is not only unrepentant but is continuing their transgressions against yourself.
Really, I am wondering just why you think the LBS should appease such people. You come off every time as the advocate for these unreasonable wayward spouses. Perhaps you just don't realize that appeasement with some people only breeds more trouble.
Maybe I missed it, but why, again, are you here on these boards?
