Well it looks like this divorce will not be busted. My w. and I had a talk on Friday. She initiated. I let her know that I am working on being the man that I want to be. She said she felt she had made a mistake by filing for divorce and starting a relationship with another man. She said she will have to carry the weight of her actions for the rest of her life, but that she can't reverse herself now. It is frustrating in that I don't really understand how she can say that. But it is what it is at this point. I am moving on with my life. Hopefully our house will sell soon and we can finalize the divorce. Maybe there will be a second act at some point in the future. Who knows? I know that all I can do is be the man I want to be...be the father I want to be... and look to find some happiness in this life.
Perhaps that indeed is a prelude to another act. Once the actions settle in on her mind for some time, perhaps she can forgive herself and re-approach you. I'm sorry, but you do sound like you have a PMA and clear head.
H35 W34 S4 | T-10 yrs M-6 yrs WAW said M over 04/09 | Living separate since 09/09 Thread #1 Thread #2 Thread #3
So this process is just weird. My w. called me yesterday. I could tell she is having doubts. She told me she 100% wants to get the divorce and sell the house. But I think she is hoping to go through that and then try to re-build our relationship. Strange right? Anyway, she suggested we go to counseling. She called it "divorce counseling" since she didn't want to promise me anything. She wants me to find a counselor. How do identify a db friendly counselor? How do i pick the right counselor?
So this process is just weird. My w. called me yesterday. I could tell she is having doubts. She told me she 100% wants to get the divorce and sell the house. But I think she is hoping to go through that and then try to re-build our relationship. Strange right? Anyway, she suggested we go to counseling. She called it "divorce counseling" since she didn't want to promise me anything. She wants me to find a counselor. How do identify a db friendly counselor? How do i pick the right counselor?
Agree to c. Interview them and ask them questions. Are they pro-marriage? I think Michelle has some information about it.
If she is leaving the C up to you then I would call several and feel them out.
Or, is she going to select the C and expect you to settle for whomever?
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Thanks. I'll re-read that section tonight. I was more thinking about how I decide who to start interviewing. Is there a tool or database that anyone has used?
I just talked to her. It's funny...I am really convinced she wants me to wait on the sidelines through a divorce and the sale of our house and then give a try dating and go slowly from there. She plans to stick with OM throughout. But to her credit she accepts the fact that I will be free to date in the meantime. Anyone else ever go through this? In a strange experience my w. seems to be able to find even stranger approaches.
