Cautiously Optimistic

[Done in VA]

Trapt - thanks for the story - it's always good to hear something encouraging like that.

I know it's not H's fault he is the way he is, but it still doesn't stop the fact that my anxiety level is through the roof, I feel incapable of living my life as a "normal" person anymore & I feel exhausted/drained most of the time. My patience is running thin. H came home last night & told me MC scheduled an appt. for the both of us next week. WTF! I thought she was trying to get him into IC! Now I am left to wonder...did he tell her he is done? did he tell her he wants to use next week to announce a D?

I can't take this not knowing anymore. I feel like for my own sake, both physically & mentally, I don't know how much longer I can do this. I thought I was a strong person, but I'm learning that maybe I'm not as strong as I thought I was. I love H unconditionally, but maybe it's best to just let him go, let everything run it's course & if we work out later, we work out later. I can't deal with being in the middle anymore. I can't be a good mother this way, I can't focus on my job like I need to right now and my spirit is being crushed. Not trying to have a pity party, but trying to realistically think about how I can remove myself from a damaging situation.

Sorry...

Mach - that mental image did make me laugh!