A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Dia]

GIMA and Fallgirl - thank you!!

Acting like a good friend will be easy, and I will do my best on the other stuff.

As far as the affair part, well, yeah - I'm dead sure I DON'T want the OM. (*Massive eye roll at self*) H has a long-distance relationship with someone atm, but it's not the OW who invaded our marriage. This is a relationship he started during the sep when both of us really, truly believed that there was nothing left. He's not serious about her - by his own admission - tho I think she is about him. She lives many states away and they hardly ever see each other. That's his to manage, tho. Apparently, his EA/PA with my former best friend crashed and burned really fast. I'm not upset, don't feel betrayed etc about the current OW. Technically, I don't even consider it an affair as it was started in good faith. Complication, yes; affair, no.

My sense of what's holding him back from full reconciliation is fear of being hurt again (understandable) and anger about me leaving (also understandable). For me, the caution points are that I do NOT want a return to certain behaviors of his - drinking, neglect of me or kidlet, no housework, etc. I saw so much improvement while I was there last time, that I'm good with 2 of the 3, and the withdrawal/neglect issue - well, after more than a year and a half of IC for me, I've got a whole new toolkit to deal with how some of MY behaviors contributed to that.

Ok, I have a bajillion things to do today, so I need to get crackin'!

Cheers!!