It just seems to me you are locked so tightly in your own mindset and "your way" that you are really missing out on some opportunities that can really help you.
Talk to your priest all you like, attend church daily... faith of any kind is important. But it seems to me you are relying on your faith and God to restore things as long as you believe. And belief is good, hope is good... what would life be if we didnt have it? Honestly though praying is easy because nobody "talks back" to you. Its all your own thoughts.
You seem to think we are pointing out your past mistakes when in fact we are pointing out your past patterns. When things get tough you run. Things got touch so you ran to Florida. Your C'ing was going to force you to do some work and examine yourself so you dropped that. AA wasnt right for you because you dont think you have a drinking problem.
People have drinking problems because they are looking for an escape. While drinking may no longer tempt you, the need to escape for you is still very present.
I just dont see why you wont even visit the idea of incorporating some type of solution based C'ing in with the spiritual C'ing you are getting from your church. IMO that would be win-win for you.
When the going gets tough you bolt. And that means there is something inside yourself you cant face. Rebuilding your faith and the R with the church you feel most comfortable in is important but so is finding solutions to your destructive patterns and I am not so sure the church is the place to go for that.
You assumed w/o even asking that your C'ing wouldnt understand or support your need to have spiritual C'ing along w/his counseling. Did you ask him his thoughts on the matter or did you just judge and assume?
You are very judgemental - the job you got wasnt good enough, it was boring and now what you had in mind but a few weeks later you were saying you could not keep up. You judged your C based on his age. You judged AA because it wasnt filled with the kind of people you thought it would be. You never attempted any of the suggestions we made. So, no, its not about pointing out your mistakes its about pointing out patterns.
Priests rely on the spiritual side to rebuild you but honestly they do not have the training to offer you the tools for solution based therapy.
And I must say I am stunned you are still on medication and not seeing a psych./C of any kind. Again, its the quick fix mantra.
Stand for your marriage all you want but while you are doing that you need to be fixing you and you are not doing that. You jump from thing to thing without giving it a chance. I mean, a few weeks ago you were talking about meeting women more than once and now you are a stander. Yes, we are all on an emotional roller coaster but yours should be a bit more even by now.
I urge you to combine whatever spiritual C'ing you are getting with some sort of solution based therapy. There really is nothing more to say.
