Sandi, On patrol in NY, you have to have a certain outlook, a certain way of thinking, and attitude. It is not one for the W.
Orich, regardless of your own feelings on your self esteem, understand that as a NY cop, you are a badass of incredible strength and deserving of a TON of respect. My opinion, but I'm sure its shared by anyone who thinks about what NY cops do day in and day out.
You may have a low opinion of yourself, but plenty of others who have never met you do not. I hope that helps.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09